WOMEN

Sex Over 50: 3 Ways Intimacy Changes For Post 50 Men Beyond Erectile Dysfunction

03/25/2013 08:02 am ET

When it comes to how sex over 50 for men, all interested parties seem to focus on erections -- or, more specifically, the increased difficulty to get and/or maintain an erection that goes with age.

But sex for men over 50 changes in other ways besides a higher likelihood of dealing with erectile dysfunction, according to certified sex and relationship expert Joe Kort.

"Men have their own midlife crisis," Kort said. "They're bodies, their hair, their erections... their masculinity is starting to change. It's really about their virility as a man. Some of it is that they want to feel more like a man. They have to wrestle with their own masculinity."

Kort spoke with Huff/Post50 about three ways sex changes for men over 50. Have you experienced these differences? Tell us your thoughts in the comments section or via Twitter @HuffPost50.

1. Men feel closer to their sexual partners.

The common stereotype of men being distant after having sex is based on biology, Korte said. While men and women have the same levels of oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone" that is responsible for bonding to partners and children, men have more testosterone, which is a hormonal distancer, Korte explained.

"Men's testosterone starts dropping in the 40s and really starts lowering in their 50s," he said. But because their oxytocin levels remain the same, men over 50 find themselves attaching more to their partners after sex, a complete 180 from how men typically feel after intercourse, he said.

"They're shocked themselves at how much they can attach," Korte said. This attachment bore out in a 2012 study where monogamous men who received a nasal spray of oxytocin were more likely to keep their distance from an attractive female and avoid sending romantic interest signals compared to single men.

2. Men become more open to expressing their sexuality in different ways.

Women tend to be more open about their sexual fantasies, going beyond the mechanics of sex to explore different scenarios and ways to express intimacy, Kort said. But that changes for men over 50.

"They have a fluidity with what they want sexually, because their erections can't work," meaning they have to find new ways to be sexual, he said. "They're doing things, wanting things because they aren't so rigid." (No pun intended.)

Men over 50 become more vocal about their sexual fantasies, and begin to broaden their ideas of what turns them on, considering "even fantasies they wouldn't have imagined before," Kort told Huff/Post50.

"The defenses aren't as strong anymore," he said. "Maybe they're more bored with their fantasies, [maybe] it doesn't get them to the edge like it used to. [But] they're more open-minded to different things because they're older."

3. Men become driven by fear.

Call it little red Corvette syndrome -- but when men hit 50, that desire for a new, younger model becomes overwhelming, Kort said.

"There is research that supports you're looking for someone who can bear your children," he said. "So there is some biology behind it. Women have it too, but it's not as prominent.

"They really start wanting the ideal that they always wanted," Kort explained. "It's not an issue of right or wrong, they're just panicked. Internally, they get scared and they act on it because their time is running out. [They think], 'I'm never going to attract a woman like this again, and I want it'."

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

5 Ways Post50s Can Improve Their Sex Life
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