Dating is hard, especially for women. But it's easier when you know there are certain types of women that heterosexual men will always avoid. And fellas, if you're dating one of these ladies, steer clear!

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  • Serial Killers

    Sorry, ladies. If you've committed three or more murders, dudes are just not into that. Stop killing now if you don't want to die alone.

  • Women With Knives For Hands

    Look, men just do not have the patience to deal with a woman who has sharp knives for hands. If there's one thing men don't like, it's getting cut or stabbed by knife hands.

  • Women Who Regularly Try To Swallow Fruits Or Vegetables Whole Like A Snake

    If you're on a date, you might think it's cute or sexy to try to stick an entire apple in your mouth and swallow without chewing, but the guy will likely say "No thank you" and move on to a woman who eats an apple in small bites.

  • A Bag Of Nacho Cheese Doritos

    No man wants to take a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos to a nice dinner at Red Lobster. Especially when the Doritos are constantly nagging. Nag, nag, nag-- shut up, Doritos!

  • A Woman Who Thinks Trader Joe's Is Called Trader Jones No Matter How Many Times You Correct Her

    Whatever you do, DON'T do that.

  • A Woman Who Constantly Sets Small Household Fires

    Ladies, he's already putting out all kinds of fires at the office, don't make him put out literal fires in his personal life.

  • Ursula From The Little Mermaid Or Similar Half-Octopus-Half Women Combos

    If you want to land a man, don't be so cruel to the gentle merfolk.

  • The Winged Victory Of Samothrace

    She doesn't have a head! And she's made of marble. Men hate that.

  • Women With Exploding Heads

    If you're a woman with an exploding head, you create a dangerous situation for any guy you're on a date with. Get that taken care of pronto.

  • Werewolves

    If you're turning into a wolf, don't expect to be turning your casual fling into a serious relationship.

  • Women Who Are Just Constantly Punching

    Men really don't like being constantly punched. Get your punching habit in check or you can forget that second date.

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  • Acceptance

    And that's all anyone could ever ask for.

  • Fried Chicken Vs. Love

    Fried chicken always wins.

  • Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

    Or crazier.

  • Poultry Proclamation

    This guy didn't chicken out with his declaration of love.

  • Nokia Phones

    A symbol of romance and a love that lasts forever.

  • A New Hope

    His love of Star Wars is just as strong as his love for Jessica.

  • Make A Moment With Mozzarella

    It's too cheesy.

  • Bagels

    Make every relationship better.

  • The Sweetest Scratch

    How could you get mad at that?

  • Loose Tooth Love

    Emma is wise beyond her years.

  • Nicolas Cage

    The best, most romantic Valentine.

  • A Backhanded Compliment


  • Bacon Ballad

    Being compared to bacon is a huge compliment.

  • Another Bacon Ballad

    The bacon may have spoiled, but their love is fresher than ever.

  • Light Saber Love

    I think they are a match made in "Star Wars" Heaven.

  • He Just Cares About Her Mind

    Or not.

  • The Human Centipede

    Turning disgusting horror into romance is no easy feat, but this card does it.