Rejected 'Game Of Thrones' Characters: Conan's Comedy For DVRs (VIDEO)

On Tuesday, Conan O'Brien introduced "Comedy For DVRs," a segment that is basically a little Easter egg for all of us who do nothing for his Nielson ratings (yet).

The only way to enjoy the joke, you see, is to pause... and pause... and pause.

This inaugural gag was called "Rejected Game Of Thrones" characters and, like SNL's "Fox & Friends" corrections, it's a long list that flies by way too fast to read. Fortunately, we had nothing better to do than painstakingly transcribe the full list, and we're here to tell you, it was worth it.

Watch the clip above, then check out the rejected names below and let us know which are your favorites. Personally, we're holding out hope that one day "Lady Sideboob Of Huffington" and "K.D. Langister" turn up on GoT.

• Abracadabra Jones
• Al Pacino But Not The One You’re Thinking Of
• Alabama Shakespeare
• Alexandarth The Lion-Groined
• Alexandreamandalice, She Of Three Smooshed-Together First Names
• Allan Applebaum Jr.
• Ambrosia Triceratops
• An Aardvark Who Looks Like a Dragon
• Andres of du Bouchet
• Android Ned Stark
• Anson of Williams
• Antoine of Bestbuy
• Artemius Wang
• Arthritus the King
• Ask Jeeves
• Asteroid Standonberry
• Balabus Grunt
• Banana Fofanna
• Barkevious Mingo
• Barney Bisonburger
• Benson Oogielove
• Berkley Johnson
• Bessemer Street
• Biff Biffers of Biffingdon
• Bloke Stokley
• Blorth of Glotto
• Bob Tobleroneboner
• Borthon the Interrupted
• Boyza Huskypants
• Bran Whistle
• Brand New Bannister
• Brian
• Bronxicus Cheerio
• Bruce Springsteed the Horse
• Bulgar Tormaryntheonnisterus
• Captain Fantasti-Groin, He With The Okay Groin
• Carl
• Carnothan “Chaz” Fliggrez
• Castley Medivalman
• Cerrulean Poptart IV
• Chlorintine Starpweather
• Clambake The Haughty
• Clarion the Impotent Warlock
• Cloratio Clemsenbrenner
• Conan O’Bryan
• Count Spermislow
• Cram Rutabaga
• Crushmangle Punchkicker The Peaceful
• Cumberbatch Benedickpic
• Daarius Tuuts
• Dancefever Manwich
• Darby Gibblefork
• Dargon, the Confusingly-Not-A-Dragon
• Darth Vader
• Deathbane VonDoom, aka “Sniffles”
• Delicious Vinyl
• Dickus Vermeilus
• Dmitri Merman
• Dr. Stanley Jekyllhyde
• Dudelove the Heterosexual
• Duke Shufflenuts
• Duupy Du’uf
• Elder Barista
• Ellison of Chernoff
• Elytheenya Gork
• Eyron Paaydi
• Faarsden Marsden III
• Facebook Instagram
• Fantasticus, The Not-So-Great
• Farterius The Stench-Ridden
• Fasquillious Dipthong
• Flarbinius Cantinflas
• Floppo The Trampoline Clown
• Fluorendryft Factfyndr
• Fluuuuuuuuuuuuth
• Fognacious Quash
• FOGNACIOUS QUASH BUT IN ALL CAPS
• Fonzarelli Jumpshark
• French Fries McGee
• Furion Fannister
• Galeit Sehayek
• Garthicus Brooksicus
• Gelsons Supermarket
• Ginormicus Tinyboy
• Glaaanis Von Voon
• Glacius Stumblebum
• Glavion Hasslehoff
• Glendon Von Glendondon
• Glenn From Accounting
• Glotto of Blorth
• Gluteon Aerosmut, Captain of the Royal Butt Guard
• Goofus the Gallant
• Gorgon Marblebum
• Grandma Thunderballs
• Groth “The Goth” Kowalski
• Grover Snuffleupagus
• Grygg Nyttls
• Gum-Gum the Chewtoy
• Hamish the Somewhat Uncoordinated
• Hanson of Mmmbop
• Hendig Smullion, Jr.
• Hfffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
• Hunk Dongwell
• Jackson Tripper
• Jagg Micker
• James The Cameraman
• Jarf Napkinpants The Squirrel-Fearer
• Jasmine Scrollable
• Jeff Kaplan
• Jester the Prop Jester
• Jib-Jab the eCard
• Joanie of Chachi
• Johannes Crouton
• Just Call Me “Mel”
• K.D. Langister
• Kalpakis VanArtsdaalen
• Kayak Jones
• Keel Statler the Dragon Diddler.
• Kegger Pantystealth
• Kellogg of Battle Creek
• Kevin Costner
• Krall the Emotionally Distant Grain Merchant
• Krunt
• “Lady” Longwrench
• Lady Antebellum of Mediocrity
• Lady Hasselhoff-Dongsleeve
• Lady Mangemuff
• Lady Sideboob of Huffington
• Lannister Shlannister
• Limp-Wrist the Stereotypical
• Lion the Human-Hearted
• Little Johnny Hiccups
• Lorax of Seuss
• Lord Fresca
• Lord Terrence Bosephius
• Louis CK the 8th
• Lucius Tartfeather
• Magic Mike
• Magnacilen Thard
• Magnesium Thermometrous
• Man Near Other Tree
• Man Near Tree
• Manch Tanch
• Marcia of Brady
• Marthulio Kravikdor, M.D.
• Mary Mary, Terribly Contrary
• Masher the Gay
• Metallica Megadeth
• Morlock the Wry
• Mountainscape Skycrusher
• Muffintop The Jeans-Mangler
• Mumford & Sandra Smith
• Murderonicus The Murder-Hearted
• My Other Car is a Tardis
• Mymar, the Lypar of Zypar
• Nakedian Womanian
• Nameless Thug
• Nissan Murano
• Octavious Mirth
• Old Joe
• Peetar Faalkus
• Perry Combover
• Phantomenace Trulysucks
• Proboscissus The Nostril-Tamer
• Purbnurb Nurbpurb
• Purplenads Fursquallius
• Purtroopeus Mammalbanner
• Puupi Paantz
• Pyllpopp
• Qo
• Quiltqueef
• Ququiqqqq Qqqicqus
• Qwerty Semi-Colonn
• Rainbow Smith
• Rhesius Witherspoonius
• Robb Stark (the other one, from Pittsburgh)
• Rusty Pistachio
• S’pu
• Schwar Zenegger
• Scrotus The Dicked Woman
• Shampoo Alert
• Shmoo the Flourescent
• Sigmund Seamonster
• Sir Crapstack The Sometimes Lady
• Sir Poopsalot the Subtle
• Sir Shaqueefus Malevolard
• Sleepy D of the Black Box
• Snickers Satisfies
• Sona Movsesian
• Sonny Sonson
• Sontos the Svelt
• Special appearance by: Shaz Palminteri
• Spector Hairdo
• Steve the Normal
• Storth the Gorth
• Subway Eatfresh (Sponsored Character)
• Superman II
• Swampmeat Trapezemeat-Meat
• Swordbane Eagleswallower
• Tangerine Penny-Pooper
• Teamcoco Frontpage
• Thalisseon Tyrannister
• The Guy Who’s Not Really Involved In Any Of The Action This Season
• The Lady of Lake Havesu, Princess of Suds
• The Number 9 on a Stick
• The VCR King
• Thrax The Medium-Membered
• Thunderballs
• Thysstall Occupyed
• Tig Tingly
• Tigerwolf Bearbrawler
• Tomatocopter Jones
• Toothless Flossmuch
• Torpis the Ham-fisted
• Triceratops Bannister
• Triplepenis Robotberg
• Trumbly Battlesworth
• Tuesday Killjoy
• Tunkkkk
• Turpin Griswold 3D
• Tuur-Tyll From Ontoraaage
• Tyron the Napkin-Brained
• Underwear Blunderwear
• Val Kilmer as Mark Twain
• Vas of Deferens
• Vimothy Vuuk
• Wanda Sykes
• Wandecious Clam
• White Blacula
• Whitey Herzog
• Wolf The Blitzer
• XYZicus
• Yertle the Turtle
• Yortay Bullisreddy
• Yrtyr Trytyrti
• Yumica Sssssssssssssips
• Yuron Cartalk
• Z’i’r’kuu’lo’’’n, the Apostrophed One
• Zipforth Lemonjamnerman
• Znudon Crystuvin
• Znudon Crystuvin (no relation)
• Zomburus Tiggleshorts