Should you stay with a mate that has cheated on you?
That's the question Jada Pinkett Smith addressed in a Facebook post on Thursday. Given that she and husband Will Smith are notorious for their are-they-or-aren't-they "open relationship", it's an interesting subject for her to tackle -- and the post has nearly 10,000 likes, and counting.
Here's how Smith answered the question, with one caveat -- she is not referring to habitual cheaters:
This is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem. They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that they believed the cheating would relieve. What's interesting is that most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU. Now the question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach for some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and, as partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt you. This makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with thorough honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting of boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and illuminates what you are made of as a couple and as individuals. Situations like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR... to two separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the unique nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor. Is he or she worth it?
Interesting! Do you agree with her take?
It's not the first time Pinkett Smith has tackled touchy topics on her Facebook page. Earlier this month, she posted advice on what to do if you have an unsupportive family, and another Facebook status on how to handle heartbreak, which generated nearly 20,000 likes. But perhaps her most controversial Facebook status was one in which she addressed her and Will's reported "open" marriage.
"Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so," she wrote on April 14. "This does NOT mean we have an open relationship...this means we have a GROWN one."
That post generated nearly 175,000 likes and over 21,000 comments.
The pair married in 1997 and have two children together. Will Smith also has one son from a previous marriage.
Click through the slideshow below for more on the Smiths' marriage and other celebrities rumored to be in open relationships.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett have been swatting down divorce rumors for nearly two years. The other rumor they've had to deal with throughout their 17-year marriage? Ongoing reports that they have an open relationship. The rumors first began back in 2008, when tabloids claimed the "Men In Black" star said his wife could be with another man if she felt she needed to. After giving an interview with HuffPost Live that sparked more open marriage speculation in April 2013, Pinkett Smith took to her Facebook page to clarify her statements: "Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship...this means we have a GROWN one."
When Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher split in late 2011, reports quickly emerged that the couple had been in an open marriage. "Demi liked women and Ashton would bring another woman into their relationship for flings, but they both agreed to it," an unnamed source told Radar Online. The report claimed that the couple split after Kutcher's alleged affair with Sara Leal because the actor had hidden the fling from Moore. "As long as she knew about it, she was fine," the source said. "It was the sneaky ones when he got caught that infuriated Demi."
Pink and husband Carey Hart split briefly in 2008 after two years of marriage, but by April 2009, the pair had reportedly reconciled. The cause of the couple's temporary split, according to The New York Daily News? A source told the paper that Pink was fed up with the couple's "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding seeing other people.
Country legend Dolly Parton has been married to Carl Dean, an asphalt-paving business owner, since 1966. In December 2007, the Daily Mail suggested that Parton, who denied divorce rumors in the early 1980s, had hinted that she was in an open marriage. "If we cheat we don't know it, so if we do cheat, it's very good for both us," the singer reportedly told a crowd in Rotherham, England. "I don't want to know it, if he's cheating on me. If I'm cheating on him, he wouldn't want to know it ... And if we do, if that's what's making it work, then that's fine too."
Speculation that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were in an open relationship sprung up after the actress shared her thoughts on monogamy in a December 2009 interview with Germany's Das Neue Blatt magazine. "I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship," Jolie said. "It's worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards." The couple, who has long been the subject of split rumors, announced their engagement in April 2012.