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06/21/2013 01:57 pm ET

Next Week's News: 7 Headlines We'll Probably See Next Week (PICTURES)

The intense guinea pig battle royale that this armor was designed for will finally happen
guinea pig

The summer solstice will pass and everyone will forget to perform the proper fertility rites like a bunch of jerks
bonfire

Kate Middleton's royal birth plan was revealed, but so far no official mention of the water slide
kate middleton

Obama getting a huge cheer in Berlin when he took off his jacket during a speech is only going to encourage him to take off his shirt and pants next time
obama berlin

Paula Deen will be found in a test kitchen scrambling to make a time machine out of a deep fryer and a wire whisk
paula deen

People excited about the new Instagram video app being able to record 9 seconds longer than Vine will take a long, hard look at their reflection in the mirror
looking in mirror

All the parents-to-be out there who were previously planning to name their babies North will continue to stew on the baby message boards
next weeks news

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