Using your feminine wiles was par for the course when you were younger. A toss of the hair here, a winning smile there and your date was putty in your hands. But some post 50 women may find it harder to flirt this time around. One of the biggest mistakes dating expert Bobbi Palmer sees in women over 50 is poor body language while dating.
"I think what's changed is the willingness to do it first of all," Palmer told the Huffington Post. "When we're in our 20s we're just having fun, we feel like we get to be free. When we get into our midlife we think [flirting is] childish. We think its beyond us."
Dating over 50 may require a shift in thinking, but some of the rules remain the same.
Body language "is the easiest way to do flirt," Palmer said. "When you're trying to attract a man -- you want to use your body and your words for sure. It's about whether you're inviting him in our not. One of the big turns on for men is feeling like a woman is open. Women walk around so closed off that seeing a woman who seems open is a big turn on, so physically you want to give him those signals and invite him in -- or to leave if you feel the opposite."
Here are four ways post 50 women are giving off uninterested signals when they're dating -- and how to fix it.
1. Too many clothes.
"I see a lot of women in their 50s and beyond wearing way too many clothes, because they're worried about how their legs look or their arms showing -- that's a physical reflection of what they're thinking in their minds: 'I'm not attractive enough,'" Palmer said. "Creating that is another barrier between you and men."
But that doesn't mean you should show up to your date wearing a revealing outfit, Palmer explained. "Showing a little bit of skin is important -- show your arms or your décolletage."
2. Bad eye contact.
Maintaining eye contact with your date is important to convey attraction, Palmer said. Nervousness or embarrassment, may be the reason behind it, but don't let either of those reasons stop you from expressing interest in your date. How?
"It takes practice," Palmer says. "What I have my clients do is I give them the homework of connecting with at least three men a day for two weeks. That means making eye contact at minimum and hopefully saying hello. New experience creates new reality. The reason you're not making eye contact is that your reality is that it's scary and something bad will happen -- rejection. [But] When they get the courage to do it, they will see such positive response from men. Men are delighted when women make eye contact and say hello!"
3. Using your body to create physical barriers between the two of you.
Whether you're aware of it or not, your body reflects your subconscious, said Palmer. Even if your décolletage is out and you're maintaining good eye contact with your date, if your body remains closed off, you're still conveying disinterest.
"The most common one is the crossed arms, but there's also leaning where your body is facing," and away from your date, Palmer explains. "If you want to see two people into each other their feet are parallel to each other.
"When you're sitting, the way that you cross your legs send a message too," she continued. "If he's sitting on your left and you cross your left leg over, it's creating a barrier between you -- whereas if you cross your right leg, you're creating a shared space."
4. Using props to keep your distance.
Along with using your own body to put up a guard, the objects around you can be working against you, too, Palmer said. Things like putting your coffee cup or wine glass in front of you, or keeping a menu open right in front of your face are a no-no.
"Everything you add creates a sense of separation and barrier," she said.
What do you think of these body language mistakes? Let us know in the comments.
EARLIER ON HUFF/POST50:
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