Ugh. Why do people feel the need to tell brides all this sweet, mushy, heartwarming stuff on their wedding day about how being married is all kinds of wonderful? You know, the endless gushing over how much happier you'll be now that you have a partner to share all of life's beautiful moments with?
Yeah -- that's what people say because they don't want to burst your bubble and give you the real story. Sure, marriage takes work, and most of us are smart enough to realize that it's not going to be all sunshine and roses 365 days a year. But most wedding well-wishers don't even dare touch the, "You'll have some good moments and not-so-good moments" bit.
Instead, they load up on free food and booze and party like rock stars at your reception while filling your head with images of how wonderful your life is going to be from that point forward.
And then they go home at the end of the night muttering, "Just you wait, honey..." under their breath (in between hiccups, of course.)
At some point down the road, the honeymoon period wears off, and then the reality that is marriage sets in and you wonder why in the hell no one told you the truth about how things were going to go.
That being said, I present six lies about marriage people can't resist telling brides over and over again.
1. "You lived together for a while, so you're already 'married'" -- Um, why does anyone fall for this one? Living together as an engaged couple and living together as a married couple are two entirely different things. It's a whole lot easier to put up with things like the toilet seat being left up and clothes piled in a heap on the floor when you know in the back of your head you can move out at a moment's notice. (It's kind of a downer when you realize you're trapped.)
2. "You won't have to worry about money anymore!" -- Ah, yes -- the combined finances speech. If you've never had a joint bank account before, get ready for trouble to set in. It's so much harder to keep track of who is spending what when you're taking out funds from the same cash pool. The whole "our money" thing is basically a recipe for fighting.
3. "Don't worry, after a few years with you, he'll come around." -- OMG. Whoever tells you that your spouse will change his/her political or religious beliefs to fit in line with yours simply because he put a ring on your finger is a BIG FAT LIAR.
4. "You'll never be lonely again." -- Who says you have to be alone to be lonely? It's only natural that when you get married, you see your other friends and family less -- which can feel really, really lonely at times.
5. "You'll have so much more fun than you did in your single days. You won't miss those times one bit." -- Yeah, right. Find me one married woman who doesn't fantasize about reliving crazy nights in college, that girls' weekend in Vegas, or even a day spent lying on the couch watching movies alone simply because she could -- and I'll probably faint in disbelief.
6. "Trust me, you'll love everything about your spouse -- because that's what marriage is all about!" -- Gag me with a spoon. Loving every single aspect of a person, even their disgusting habits and annoying quirks? That's just not realistic. For example, do you know one woman who finds her husband farting in bed, smoking, belching, scratching his balls, etc. endearing? (Probably not. And you'll be her at some point down the road, I promise.)
Have you heard any of these lies?
More from The Stir:
DON’T Marry Him if His Parents Can’t Stand You –- Trust Me, I Know
6 Things for Wives to Love About Their Husbands Being Out of Town
15 Things a Wife Never Wants to Hear Her Husband Say
The Unfair Secret Trick to Staying Married
6 Things You Can Never Change About a Man
Also on HuffPost: