Murder he stroked.
Omaha police allege that Darrell Moore, 53, walked into police headquarters Wednesday to report that he'd just witnessed a murder, according to WOWT.
Rather than elaborate, Moore pulled his pants down, according to a police report sent to The Huffington Post. As officers pleaded with him to keep his pants on, the report said, Moore instead started masturbating.
At least two officers tried to arrest Moore, and he allegedly spit on one of them and tried to punch the other, according to the report.
Moore was eventually subdued and booked on charges of lewd conduct, indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and attempted assault on an officer.
There is no indication from the report that Moore's allegations about seeing a murder are substantiated.