Huffpost Taste

Skewer Station: The Dumbest In Grilling Tools

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Listen people, if you really want to have a successful grill-out there are only a handful of things you need. For one, you need a grill. It doesn't have to be a new one. It doesn't have to be gas or charcoal. It doesn't even have to look like much of a grill at all. It just has to be able to hold charcoal or work with a propane tank -- and it has to allow you to cook your food over fire.

The next thing you need is food. When it comes to grilling, the most important thing is definitely the food. You want to make sure you have enough of it for everyone. You'll want to stay focused and not burn the food. And you should pay particular attention to getting the best flavor.

If you have food and a working grill, you don't need much else. Barbecue tongs or a fork are nice and make handling food easy. It's a good idea to have a clean plate or platter handy to put the cooked food on. But that's it. You don't need a fish basket. You don't need grill clamps. And you absolutely do not need a skewer station.

Unless you're hoping to sell a skewer or two, there is no reason to display your food in this way. Not only is it cooling down your grilled food faster, but it looks incredibly dumb. Just use a plate guys. It doesn't take up unnecessary room in your kitchen; it doesn't cost extra; and it just works better overall. Let's put an end to stupid grilling tools once and for all. Please.

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Check out more useless grilling tools.

  • Brass Knuckles Meat Tenderizer
    Amazon
    Yeah, definitely. Nothing says "I have street cred" like tenderizing your meat with a pair of brass knuckles.
  • GrillComb
    Fusionbrands
    The GrillComb's claim to usefulness: "Keeps food from spinning while cooking." Ah yes, finally an answer to the "food spinning epidemic." It's probably pretty exciting the first time you pick one of these up and scatter your grill with individual pieces of food.
  • Creme Brulee On The Grill
    The Tool Wizard
    The directions for this product are hilarious. Cook the creme brulee "according to a recipe," then heat this metal plate on your grill and caramelize each custard individually. Just buy a torch, you guys! They got invented for a reason!
  • Grill Sergeant Apron
    Perpetual Kid
    This is a neat trick: giving the gift of a tool that makes the person you are giving the gift to look like a tool. Also, who doesn't want a six pack of beer strapped to their chest while they lean over a grill?
  • Ham Dogger
    Kitchen Art
    The Ham Dogger turns hamburger meat into a hot dog. How this product improves upon rolling your ground beef into logs by hand, we have not deciphered. Do we need to even make fun of this? Just don't do this. Please.
  • Personalized Leather Apron & Gloves Set
    GrillingGifts.com
    What are you, welding? Don't worry, dad, you're the only one in the house who wants to wear leather gloves for grilling -- you don't have to put your name on them. Go flip my cheeseburger, weirdo.
  • Patio Bistro® Infrared Electric Grill
    Brookstone
    Char-Broil wants to make sure you can grill even in places where you "aren't allowed to grill." So they invented a glorified hot plate with ridges that's shaped like a grill. The guys in the picture look like they're pretty psyched about it, though.
  • Meatball Grill Basket
    The amazing thing about all of these stupid grilling tools, is that they are firmly rooted in just how lazy we can be. Grilled meatballs sound awesome, but is it really that taxing to just turn them one by one? The world has been done a service in that these are no longer available on Williams-Sonoma's website.
  • Motorized Grill Brush With Steam Cleaning Power
    Brookstone
    Okay. What exactly are you grilling? Paint? Do you really need the brushes to rotate for you? Did you know that this uses eight AA batteries? Just oil up an onion like the rest of us and move on!
  • Reel Roaster
    Perpetual Kid
    The only way we'll be able to move on with our day and find peace, is if you assure us that no one has ever purchased one of these. Here's how the Reel Roaster works: stab your hot dog/marshmallow/whatever onto the end of the antenna and crank the reel to rotate the skewer. Or just, you know, use a coat hanger like the rest of us have for eternity.
  • Bear Claw Meat Shredder/Lifter
    Sur La Table
    But meat shredders already exist! They're called hands! And forks! If you are barbecuing anything tough enough that it requires giant metal hands to shred -- you're doing it wrong.
  • UFO BBQ Cover
    BBQ Zoo
    For only $10, you and your UFO BBQ Cover can let your neighbors know that you had nothing better to do with those $10.
  • Grill Clips
    Sur La Table
    These Sur La Table Grill Clips are a great way crush delicate pieces of food before you serve them to your guests. Also, we bet these are really fun to try to open, hot off the grill.
  • Quirky Sliders Skewers
    Target
    Are you really taxed by sliding food off your skewer with a fork? Here -- put a piece of plastic on the grill next to your food and see if it melts before you get your zucchini.
  • Barbecue Tool And Accessory Organizer Stand
    4TheGrill
    Having trouble keeping your BBQ tools organized? Strap an unstable, top-heavy rack onto a BBQ filled with hot charcoal. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.

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Filed by Julie R. Thomson