Former Groupon CEO Andrew Mason's long-awaited debut album of "motivational business music" has arrived. Upon listening to the record, available on Spotify and iTunes on Tuesday, one thing stuck us: the disgraced centimillionaire seems to offer a lot of career advice for a guy who was kicked out of the company he founded for failing to turn it around.
Granted, Mason left Groupon as a man worth $200 million, so it's hard to call him unsuccessful. But these lyrics are overwhelmingly simple and pretty ridiculous. The album is full of business advice, and much of it is either odd or obvious. Mason is being compared to Raffi, and it's easy to see why.
But what do we know? Steve Jobs said he entered "one of the most creative periods of my life" after being kicked out of Apple in 1985. The following year he founded NeXT Computer, purchased by Apple a decade later, and bought the studio that would become Pixar.
Here's to Mason forging a similar path. Check out his advice below:
1. Find business inspiration in art.
In his song "Look No Further" Mason explains that the inspiration to do well in business doesn't come from self-help books, it comes from the beauty of art and nature. Duh.
"Look no further
Than Mies Van Der Roe
Or a painting by Monet
Look no further than an aria by Liszt or Debussy
The birthing of great octopi
Or the films of Fellini"
2. Think about work problems while driving
Mason describes his thoughts on his drive to work in his appropriately named song "The Way To Work." All it takes is a peaceful drive to figure out all of life's problems!
"As I ride along thinking about
A thought appears in my mind
The solution to an HR issue
That’s been vexing me
For too much time"
3. Keep an open dialogue
In "My Door Is Always Open," Mason talks to his employees, urging them to come talk to him about their problems. This song would also be appropriate in a Lifetime movie about a mom whose son has started experimenting with drugs, especially when it's played on the acoustic guitar.
"Yeah I need you
To come to me when something’s
My door is always open"
4. Keep it simple
In the song "K.I.S.S.," which, of course, stands for "keep it simple, stupid," Mason tells people to keep their products simple in some pretty graphic terms.
"Don't make me cut through no thistles
You can keep all your fancy bells and whistles and shove them
Where the sun don’t shine"
5. Set big, but measurable goals
Using a long series of rhymes, Mason tells you to make goals that are difficult but quantifiable in "Stretch."
"Measurable and controllable
You heard that all before
Now take the numbers
You can hit for sure
And add a little more"
6. Set yourself apart
In Mason'a final song, "Risin' Above The Pack," he tells people that they need to work hard to get ahead. Good thing we finally have a song to teach us that life lesson!
"Yeah with self confidence and
You'll ask for and receive
The feedback you need
To rise above the pack"