Addiction is a complicated subject. For family members of addicts who may think they have control over their dependence, it's especially difficult to know how to even begin to broach the topic. Iyanla Vanzant has worked with many troubled individuals, including addicts, and has learned several things about confronting an addict.
The first step in confronting a loved on about his or her addiction, Iyanla advises, is for you to clearly state that you know they are addicted. "If you go into the conversation waiting for them to admit it to you, you can very easily be talked out of it," she says.
From the very beginning of the conversation -- or "carefrontation," as Iyanla calls it in the above video -- it is very important to approach the addict with compassion. Begin by putting yourself in the addict's shoes for a moment.
"Think about a time when there was something you did not want to talk about and someone just insisted that you have the conversation," Iyanla says. "What were the two things you felt? The first was probably anger and the second was probably fear, which led you into resistance."
Be prepared to be met with the same anger and fear when you confront an addicted loved one. "They're not resisting you. They're resisting the conversation," Iyanla explains. "They're afraid what might come out. So, be compassionate."
Iyanla also advises that you keep the goals of the conversation in perspective, saying, "You already know what you know. Now, the only thing you're trying to get the other person to do is talk about it."
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Cigarette smoke contains over 4,800 chemicals, 69 of which are known to cause cancer. (CDC.gov)
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57.4%: the percentage of Americans ages 18-44 that are overweight and obese (combined). (CDC.gov)
Marijuana use has increased since 2007. In 2011, there were 18.1 million current (past-month) users—about 7.0 percent of people aged 12 or older—up from 14.4 million (5.8 percent) in 2007. (drugabuse.gov)
Treatment for prescription painkiller abuse has skyrocketed 430% in the past decade. (SAMHSA)
Smoking-related diseases cause an estimated 440,000 American deaths each year. (interventionspecialists.org)
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Women account for 39 percent of all smoking deaths in the US. (interventionspecialists.org)
Excessive alcohol consumption is responsible for over 79,000 deaths in the US each year. (CDC.gov)
One person’s obesity can significantly increase the chance that his or her friends, siblings, and spouse will also become heavy. (New England Journal of Medicine)
Smoking costs the United States over $150 billion annually in health care costs. (interventionspecialists.org)
In 2011, 33% of 8th graders and 70% of 12th graders had tried alcohol, and 13% of 8th graders and 40% of 12th graders drank during the past month. (CDC.gov)