A singing, Oprah-channeling John Oliver had cutting remarks for nearly everyone with a hand in Detroit's bankruptcy on the "Daily Show" Monday night, suggesting creditors might use the zoo as their "personal meat locker" if the city sells off assets, calling out journalists for being too afraid to report from the scene, slamming the terrible puns used on national news and coming up with a few of his own.
To be fair, "Detroit Hock City" and Eminem's "Chapter 9 Mile" are way cleverer than "Motown Is No Town" and "Motor City Runs out of Gas."
There are too many zingers to count in the two segments, but Oliver takes a perfect shot at anyone who saw the bankruptcy as a surprise:
"That does seem a little suspect, that the bankruptcy lawyer you hired suggested declaring bankruptcy," he said. "It's like picking a demolitions expert to re-shingle your roof. 'I took a look up there and I think dynamite is definitely the way to go.'"
And he found the only possible humor in Detroit's disastrously long police response times, more than five times longer than the national average:
"If you get shot in Detroit, you can get a pizza faster than you can get a cop," Oliver said. "In fact, maybe that's the only way to survive there. Hey Domino's, I'd like one large pizza with two policemen and a side of paramedic."