Spreadsheets App Will Tell You If You're Good In Bed

08/13/2013 11:55 am ET
  • Julie Zeilinger Author of College 101: A Girl's Guide to Freshman Year and A Little F'd Up: Why Feminism Is Not A Dirty Word. Founder and Editor of the FBomb (thefbomb.org).

It's hard for any of us to get through a day without technology, but it seems to be increasingly difficult to get through the night without it, either. Apps are being welcomed into the most intimate areas of individuals' lives, helping people meet new sexual partners, make long-term relationships fun again and, now, improve (and rate) their sexual performance.

Spreadsheets is a new mobile app that "monitors your performance in bed to provide statistical and historical feedback" by tracking a user's "movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed," according to its website. Essentially, the app determines how well a user performed in bed based on the volume and speed of movement of both partners, as well as how long they lasted.

Like relationship app Kahnoodle, Spreadsheets attempts to turn sex into a game by allowing users to to acquire "achievements" which range from having sex in the afternoon or having sex that lasts at least 40 minutes, to having a "Lazy Sunday," which requires using the app five times on a Sunday, reported New York Magazine.

Equating good sex to how loud you are may not be the best way to determine satisfaction, but since studies show that more people are bringing technology into the bedroom, we're not surprised these apps keep popping up. It might be a better idea to just put your phone on silent, be present with your partner and enjoy yourself.

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