By Monique Boyd for YourTango.com
Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome walks up to you, smiles and introduces himself. You take one look at him and become excited -- this just might be your lucky day. You engage him in casual conversation and find that not only is he attractive to you, he is mentally stimulating as well. You must be in heaven. Before the conversation ends, he asks for your name and number so the two of you can continue talking over the phone. Just as soon as you thought your prayers have finally been answered, he tells you he'll call you once he drops off the kids... at his baby momma's house. Your smile starts to fade and so do your dreams.
So what's a woman to do when she meets a single dad? Well, for starters, it's certainly not the end of the world. Even though there are obvious disadvantages to dating guys with children, there are some really great advantages as well. Women tend to overlook these, because the situation isn't exactly what they thought it would be like. We'll explore the advantages and disadvantages to juggling co-parenting and dating below.
Let's Start With The Bad News: The Disadvantages
- Lack of quality time with you: It makes sense: men with kids have to schedule their time around kids. Depending on whether he has full or partial custody of his child, it can severely limit the amount of time he spends on leisure activities. The simple act of going out on a date may require him to hire a babysitter or ask family and friends to watch his child for a few hours, which can become an inconvenience. Dates may sometimes be cancelled in cases where the child gets sick or a babysitter is not possible. Instead of wallowing or getting frustrated, make sure you have a life outside of him. That way, you're not completely disappointed when his kids come first.
Now Let's Move On To The Good News: The Advantages
- Having a man with nurturing and sensitive capabilities: This is one of the best traits single fathers have, particularly if they are raising daughters. They can be some of the most nurturing and sensitive men you'll ever meet, as they have gained these qualities from being a good father to their kids. Usually, when you find a guy who is nurturing and sensitive to his child, he's also nurturing and sensitive to the woman he is dating. The responsibility of having to raise kids really opens him up to other wonderful traits such as loyalty, compassion and selflessness.
In summary, dating a man with kids is certainly not for the faint of heart. There can be many advantages to the situation, including a partner who has learned to be more nurturing and sensitive towards others, and one who isn't into disappearing acts. However, you shouldn't ignore the disadvantages to the situation, like lack of quality time and resources he'll have for you -- not to mention the jealousy and disrespect which may come as a result in this family situation.
At the end of the day, no one can judge you if you decide to date a man with kids or decide against it. Some women are happily dating men with children, and others couldn't imagine it. My goal was to provide you with enough information to make an informed decision so that you can live your life accordingly. My hope is that you take this information and make the best choice possible -- for you. Good Luck!
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