On Tuesday, Apple unveiled the iPhone 5C. Made of plastic and starting at $99, it's the first remarkably affordable iPhone the company has released.

But why not go all the way and sell a really cheap phone? Funny or Die made this parody commercial showing off such a device with all your favorite mobile phone features, like Snake. (Actually, only Snake.)

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  • Textees

    "Oh, these? They're just my texting thimbles. They're perfect for when I'm texting the opposite sex, probably." (via <a href="http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/2010/09/026755.htm" target="_hplink">Textually</a>)

  • Bluetooth/Sunglasses Combo

    Just when we thought Bluetooth headsets make their wearers look like insufferable douchebags, then insufferable douchebags had to go and outdo themselves with this thing. (via <a href="http://www.cio.com/special/slideshows/silly_smartphone_accessories/slide05#slideshow" target="_hplink">Cio</a>)

  • Cell Mate

    At first glance, we see two things problematic about the Cell Mate. The first is that apparently nobody at Cell Mate Headquarters knows about hands-free headsets that come with most cell phones. The second is that it might not be the best strategy to name your product after prisoners. (via <a href="http://www.likecool.com/Cell_Mate--Cellphone--Gear.html" target="_hplink">Like Cool</a>)

  • Wrist Cell Phone Carrier

    This phone wrist accessory looks like it was specifically engineered to piss off Baby Boomers who think younger folks are too attached to their phones. (via <a href="http://www.gizmodiva.com/mobile_phones/wrist_cell_phone_carrier_keeps_your_phone_safe.php" target="_hplink">Gizmodiva</a>)

  • TV Hat

    The infamous TV Hat is a device that magnifies an iPhone's screen so you can watch downloaded TV and movies on the go. It was apparently invented by Steve Martin's character in "The Jerk." (via <a href="http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/04/tv-hat-the-dork-tastic-head-mounted-theater/" target="_hplink">Wired</a>)

  • Banana Cell Phone Holder

    This one is great because it's impractical <i>and</i> will make its users look like a lunatic. One day using this would be a fun novelty. Two days would turn you into a character from "Juno." (via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/duzm9/probably_the_greatest_cell_phone_accessory_ever/" target="_hplink">Reddit</a>)

  • iPhone Revolver

    Also known as the "My Second Amendment fetish must extend to all areas of my life" iPhone holder. (via <a href="http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2010/07/top_ten_weird_iphone_apps.html?pic=7#gallery" target="_hplink">ShinyShiny.tv</a>)

  • Cell Phone Holster

    Kill two birds with one stone: carry around your cell phone conveniently, and fulfill your childhood dream of becoming a big strong policeman! Except that you'll probably get killed in the line of duty the first time you reach for your phone in a public place. Also goes perfect with the cell phone revolver! (via <a href="http://ismashphone.typepad.com/.a/6a00e55225079e8834013488e75bbb970c-pi" target="_hplink">iSmashPhone</a>)

  • Umbilical Cord Power Charger

    We're sure that this umbilical cord smart phone power charger was predicted by David Lynch at some point. (via <a href="http://dailycontributor.com/wtf-gadget-of-the-day-wiggling-umbilical-cord-iphone-charger/18637/" target="_hplink">Daily Contributor</a>)