Huffpost Teen

'I Expected A Monumental Change In Myself After Sex'

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Throughout the months of September and October, HuffPost Teen is highlighting the way teens think and feel about sex through anecdotes written for our series, "Teen Sex: It's Complicated." All of the authors are teenagers who have agreed to be published anonymously. If you want to share your thoughts, join the conversation here.

By Elise, 16

To me, the word "sex" means a lot of things. Throughout my life I have had a lot of opinions about sex thrust upon me (pun intended ha ha). I have gone to Catholic school for 10 years and they are quite adamant about their sex mis-education. I was told from a young age that sex was for marriage, condoms and oral contraceptives do not work, and no matter what, premarital sex WILL result in both pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

That being said, my parents took a more liberal approach to things. My mother has instructed me to wait until I have a steady, committed relationship before I start having sex. She believes it is a positive thing and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. She told me she would prefer I wait until after high school, but fortunately, trusted me and my decisions.

Through my short, yet vast, life experiences, I have formed an opinion of my own. Sex is a beautiful thing. It can create life, or just good feelings. But like all good things, an excess usually isn't great. We must be smart about sex. If you aren't planning on children, you should always use a condom and birth control.

I don't think we should be ashamed of our sexuality. It's a part of our lives and the world and we shouldn't be embarrassed of it.

I have had sex. I slept with my boyfriend last spring. We are still together. Based on what I have been told about sex, I had mixed feelings. No matter how much he reassured me, I had a subtle fear my boyfriend would stop loving me. I also expected a monumental change in myself after sex. But afterward, I felt the same. I still loved him, he still loved me (to the teenage extent of love), and I felt okay with myself.

I didn't feel the need to broadcast it to the world, but I wasn't ashamed of what we had done either. Sex is a part of my relationship, but not the foundation or even a main focus. It is something that brings us closer. I don't regret it one bit.