Huffpost Divorce

How To Communicate With An Ex After A Messy Split

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In most cases, divorce doesn't completely end the relationship between former spouses -- and that's especially true when kids are involved. So how do you keep communication civil after a messy split?

"I know for me personally, it's really critical to keep my relationship on a strictly business level [rather than an emotional one,]" divorce strategist Nancy Kay said on HuffPost Live. "I found that to be really hard in the beginning, but it's been well worth working towards and the consistency is really key. I have found that to be in my own case and also when I guide my clients, especially in high-conflict divorces that involved co-parenting following the divorce."

Kay admits that keeping the dialogue business-like can be a challenge, but she had one specific recommendation for people struggling to communicate with a former partner.

"It's really tough to not fall back into old patterns of communication. But I highly recommend to my clients that they only communicate through e-mail that can be printed out and has a time and date stamp, and I really recommend that they write it like a ransom note; just think of it as if each word they write costs $5000, what's the least amount of words I can put in this communication that gets my point across in the email?"

Watch the segment above for more advice on how to communicate with an ex, and check out the full segment here.

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