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An Interview With A Dark Elf from 'Thor: The Dark World,' The Most Boring Villain Ever

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THOR THE DARK WORLD
The Dark Elves from "Thor: The Dark World." | Marvel

“Thor: The Dark World” is the number one movie in the world right now, having bested even the opening weekend haul of the first “Thor” movie. Despite the enthusiastic response from ticket buyers, however, "Thor 2" is not without problems. The biggest complaint centers on the nondescript villains of the film, known as the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim. They're just so boring.

We were fortunate to catch up with one of the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim to ask him about these complaints.

It’s nice to meet you, Dark Elf of Svartalfheim.
I’m happy to be here.

You’re listed in the credits as Dark Elf #5. Do you have a proper name?
I do, but it would be very difficult for people on Earth to pronounce, so I do not use it very often when we are attacking other planets.

Do you mind telling us?
Sure, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, human. My name is Glenn.

That doesn’t seem too difficult to pronounce, to be honest.
It’s the second “n” that causes problems. On Svartalfheim we really enunciate that second “n” and you fools refuse to do that.

I have to admit, this conversation is starting to bore me. Your critics might be right.
Zzzzzzz.

Did you just fall asleep?
I did. The truth is, I find myself boring, too. We are a very boring group of Dark Elves and I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would want us in a movie.

How were you first approached?
I saw a flyer for a casting call back on Svartalfheim.

That's a boring answer. What was the audition like?
The casting director asked if I had any special talents. I told him that I did not and then I was hired right on the spot.

What do you do in your free time?
I read. I love Dan Brown books.

Do you have any hobbies?
I like to paint. Thomas Kinkade is an inspiration.

Do you like Earth’s television shows?
I’ve become addicted to “NCIS: Los Angeles.” Chris O’Donnell seems nice.

Do you watch “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”?
It’s too boring, even for us.

Did you meet Chris Hemsworth?
Briefly. He signed my copy of “Red Dawn.”

You own a copy of "Red Dawn"?
This is also the main reason that we wanted to invade your world -- to punish you for the travesty of not honoring “Red Dawn” with an Academy Award. The “Red Dawn” remake is held in the highest esteem on Svartalfheim, right up there with comedic stylings of Jackée.

What’s next for you, Dark Elf of Svartalfheim?
Probably a glass of warm milk, then bed.

Do you have any plans after that?
The episode of "Friends" where Joey considers changing his name to Joseph Stalin is on later. I might watch that.

Well, it’s been nice to meet you, Dark Elf of Svartalfheim. Thanks for talking with us.
Thanks for having me. Also, death to Earth … from boredom.

Mike Ryan is senior writer for Huffington Post Entertainment. You can contact him directly on Twitter.

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