Life and relationships present us with a near-constant flurry of questions. Is this person genuine? Are they nice? Are they trustworthy? Do my friends really like me? There is an easy way to find the answers to all of these questions and more: just eat a meal with someone. I have long maintained that by eating with someone or feeding someone, you can tell a lot about them that they won't readily volunteer. It can be in a restaurant, it can be in your home, it can be anywhere you can observe their general dining habits.
Below, you'll find some accrued wisdom from our collective life experiences up until this point. And, if you continue to date or be friends with some of these freaks, don't say we didn't warn you. Now, let's talk about what eating can tell you about the people around you.
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... They love you. Plain and simple.
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... They'll also try things they're afraid of in life. Like ballroom dancing, sky-diving, learning a foreign language and speaking in public. These people are fun. Eat with them.
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... They will also expect you to learn how to do their laundry, rearrange your schedule for theirs and maybe even cook them a separate dinner if they don't like what's on the menu. Also, they'll probably try to tell you how to wear your hair. You can work with these people, but it won't be easy.
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... They are unsure of their life choices and also probably very, very tiresome. If you need a moment of silence, just ask them what their favorite color is and watch them deliberate.
... They think they are above you and that the rules don't apply to them. (No seriously, this one is science
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... They probably think they are above them, and also maybe you. Also, they've never eaten leftovers with a fried egg on top for breakfast, obviously.
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... They are kind, dependable and less hung-over than you are. You should do whatever you can to make them continue to be your friend/significant other.
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... You should ask that person to be your lawyer because even they believe their own bullshit.
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... Let them go. It's probably all they have. (Thanks to our Senior Editor, Kristen Aiken, for this perfect thought.)
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... Break up with them. They are horrible and need to get away from you as soon as possible.
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... RUN, THIS ISN'T WORTH IT.
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