Huffpost Comedy

13 Things No One's Going To Steal

Posted: Updated:

Paranoid, much?

  • 1
    These flip-flops.
  • 2
    This Pizza.
  • 3
    This Toilet Paper
    ...And don't try to say this a life hack.
  • 4
    This lawn chair.
  • 5
    Your homeboy.
  • 6
    This bottle of Sriracha.
    We know it's delicious... But, come on.
  • 7
    Dat hula hoop.
  • 8
    This hunk of meat.
  • 9
    Your bike made out of balloons.
    Although your commitment to detail is impressive.
  • 10
    Your lunch.
  • 11
    Your child's toy.
    At least, we hope it belongs to a child.
  • 12
    This tree stump.
  • 13
    These Doritos.
    The Nintendo DS, we understand. But this?

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