Yoga class is sacred time. It's a space where you can quiet your mind and let your body breathe itself into flexible awareness.
But we're human beings and sometimes finding zen during class is more frustrating than peaceful. It's not our faults we still struggle in downward dog and it's almost impossible to hold back a loud laugh when your tiny and bendy instructor says something ridiculous like, "Imagine your thighbones are rainbows, spiraling outwards."
Below, 17 perfectly normal things you wish you could say during yoga class, but don't.
1. When there are way too many people in one class:
Because 60 people in one room is really pushing it.
2. When someone places their mat right in front of your view of the mirror:
Thanks. Now I have to look at my face through your armpit.
3. When the guy in the front row is clearly trying to impress everyone:
Seriously, dude. This isn't a contest.
4. When you have no idea what the instructor is talking about:
Um, I'm pretty sure I'm doing this wrong.
5. When the girl next to you in the mirror has a perfect blow-out, and you look like this:
The frizz helps you balance, right?
6. When you forgot about yoga class and had mexican food for lunch:
7. When the instructor looks at you disapprovingly:
There's a reason why I'm in the back row, lady.
8. When someone else ate mexican food for lunch:
For the love of God, can we please crack a window?
9. When the lady next to you "shakes it out," and her sweat hits you:
10. When the instructor tells you to forget everything else and "clear your mind":
Sometimes, lady, that's just impossible.
11. When you return to upward dog after an especially difficult flow:
This is nice. Let's stay right here.
12. When you're surrounded by dancers and gymnasts and possibly circus freaks:
You know, your head isn't really meant to reach there anyways.
13. When you begin to question why you practice in the first place:
Seriously, how are they doing that?
14. When the instructor puts you in a stupid position:
Annnnd now I look like a totem pole.
15. When the cute guy in class looks your way:
Anyone else sweating like a sinner in church?
16. When the person in front of you has perfect form. Every. Single. Time:
You're only here to mock me, aren't you?
17. When you fall asleep during savasana ... again:
Zzzzz... Wait. Where am I?