Enough is enough. The new year is fast approaching and we'd like to look at it as an opportunity for a fresh start. A clean slate. A chance to start anew without many of the repetitive, lazy, worn out tropes and trends that pop culture wielded at us in 2013. From twerking to tired storylines -- we're just over it.
As we begin 2014, we'd like to put Hollywood on notice that the following is not welcome any longer.
Endless Superhero Sequels And Spinoffs
What hath "Marvel's The Avengers" wrought? Just a bunch of expensive and loud movies with shared universes that will keep multiplexes filled from now until forever. This past year saw Warner Bros. reboot Superman with a good standalone film ("Man of Steel"), and then immediately explode plans for its sequel by turing the continuation into the kitchen sink. (Why just have Superman when you can have Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and maybe even Joaquin Phoenix?) It's even worse for Spider-Man fans, as Sony announced in December that Peter Parker's friendly neighborhood opponents will get movies too. (Hope everyone loves the Sinister Six! Because that's a movie people will pay money to see somewhere around 2017.) It's all so exhausting; the tyranny of synergy writ large in an industry increasingly devoid of ideas. Lo for the simple days of part two. - Christopher Rosen
Jennifer Aniston Pregnancy Rumors
Jennifer Aniston is definitely not pregnant, guys. As much as we try to wish and pray and hope for a baby to start growing in her belly, it is not going to happen, because that is not science. I know, I know. We all just want Jen to be happy, but the incessant rumors are just making her run out of fun talk show anecdotes. Besides, now she has Justin Theroux, a $21 million mansion and chickens! Shouldn't that be enough? - Lauren Duca
TV Relatives Coming Back From the Dead
Has one of your favorite TV characters mentioned a dead or long lost relative of theirs? Well get ready to feign surprise when that said family member comes back from beyond the grave. What used to be a shocking reveal (ie: "Alias," "Dallas") has now become a tired and lazy cliche of today's TV. Let TV family members rest in peace! - Christopher Rudolph
Farrah Abraham And Courtney Stodden
The public loves its reality stars, and all the more so when they're young, attractive, and seek attention like a stray kitten seeks milk. But in the case of Farrah Abraham, former "Teen Mom" turned way-too-young back-door MILF and, sadly, 2013's Most Googled Reality Star, we really should draw the line. Granted, most reality stars don't have notable talent to go on, but 22-year-old Abraham has climbed to the top of everyone's search bar on
her the back of a sex tape, plastic surgery, mistaking herself for a feminist and waxing her baby girl's eyebrows. As is the case with 19-year-old, newly-separated Courtney Stodden, whose greatest and possibly sole achievement is her gravity-defying figure, these young stars should be left to do some growing up and maturing before they return to the public eye. Maybe then they'll have something of substance to contribute. - Liat Kornowski
Miley Cyrus brought twerking to to the masses this year, and there was no escaping it. We talked/wrote/debated about her twerking so much that the word was officially added to the Oxford English Dictionary in August, despite having been around for 20 years. Now that it's officially a word, let's agree to never use it again. And while we're at it, we'd suggest that Miley give it up as well, because "dancing to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance" is just so 2013. - Stephanie Marcus
Paris Hilton's Attempts At Relevancy
The thing is, it hasn't been 2003 for a long time (since 2003, to be precise). Paris tried really hard this year to win back our hearts and minds. She took a stab at a DJ-ing career, released a music video and even got robbed. Unfortunately, it's not working. Don't you think it's time she sat back in relaxed in one of her houses? Maybe she could take a trip around the world, by staying at various Hiltons. She could even use her money as a slide! I don't care, but she should definitely stop trying to be famous again. - Lauren Duca
The selfie, a self-taken photo quickly uploaded to social media (not that you needed an explanation), has become so ubiquitous this year that it was even crowned Oxford Dictionary's Word of the Year. But it's hardly your average teenage Directioners, roommates, classmates, sorority sisters and the likes who made the word, and the act itself, so popular. It's celebrities. Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Jessica Simpson, Queen Bey, Taylor Swift -- the list goes on and on. And we're here to say: enough. We know what you look like and there is exactly zero creativity in turning the iPhone lens on yourself. At least get some interesting background in there, make an inventive, duck-free face, have some sort of composition that has nothing to do with your choice of filter. By this point, we get more pleasure seeing you guys in paparazzi shots on coffee runs with parked cars as backdrop, and that's saying something. -Liat Kornowski
Miley Cyrus' Tongue
We don't know if she's trying to replace Gene Simmons of the band KISS, or if she's just being Miley, but the "Wrecking Ball" singer's tongue has gotten seriously out of control. Miley told Barbara Walters that she sticks her tongue out because she feels "embarrassed to take pictures" and doesn't really know how to smile, but the wag is creeping into her live performances. The look can also have unintended consequences that make her look outright ridiculous, like when she accidentally licked off her makeup. Let's nip the tongue wag in the bud before it becomes the next "duck face." - April Sperry
If you don't believe body-shaming is real, take a gander at Rex Reed's comments about Melissa McCarthy or Kiera Knightley being pestered about anorexia in Allure. Even the New York Times criticized Lena Dunham's "pulchritude" while comparing her to the "skeletal" Claire Danes. It's what's on the inside that counts, okay? (Where were you guys during kindergarten? They would say that pretty much every day in kindergarten.) Everyone just needs to be quiet and eat Nutella ... or maintain a diet that consists solely of organic juicing. Whatever! Everyone is beautiful! - Lauren Duca
And hopefully Justin Bieber.