As we close out another year, we inevitably turn to the question of what we stuffed in our faces for the last 365 days. Most of it was delicious, not all of it was particularly good for us, but (with a few exceptions) we wouldn't change a single thing. Every year, like clockwork, people around us vow to eat and cook better the next year. Fewer cheese fries, more lettuce. Fewer cocktails, more kombucha (or whatever).
There's no easier way to satisfy a bout of year-end eating guilt than to vow to eat more salad next year. The New Year's resolution salad that you choose says a lot about who you are as a person, and what your new year will be like. If we missed your chosen resolution salad, let us know about in the comments and we'll try to tell you what we know about you from the decision you've made.
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You. Are. Ready. You're so ready you don't even have time to use a knife. You've gotta cleanse, and you've gotta cleanse now. This is your year, baby, the rest of us are just cutting our own salads in it.
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Oh, you fancy, huh? You've found a way to balance enjoying the spoils of being alive, with responsibly consuming all the food groups in proportion. You're really hitting your stride as an adult.
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You hate vegetables. Let's be clear: a Caesar salad is delicious, but it's barely a salad. Somewhere along the line, someone convinced you that a Caesar salad was just as good for you as all the other salads. They were lying to you.
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If everyone else was eating a "jump off a bridge salad," you probably would too. You've chosen a great salad for this year, but let's just hope that the hot new salad in 2014 isn't cookie salad
. For your sake.
Bless your heart, you are trying. This does not really count as a salad, but it is one of the most delicious things on earth, so you're doing something right. Who needs New Year's resolutions anyway?
You have finally reached a milestone this year: you are able to enjoy really great things at their simplest. You may have even realized that lemon, salt and olive oil are all the salad dressing you need in the world. Go forth and be awesome.
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You, like us, are just in it for the cheese. Two thumbs up.
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You are really clever. A spinach salad always sounds like a very virtuous choice, but it's usually drizzled with hot bacon dressing. You kind of have it all figured out.
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HA HA HA. You are confused about what "salad" and "resolutions" mean. Good luck with everything!
You. Don't. Give. A. F**k. We respect you.
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