17 Ways Being A New Yorker Prepares You For The Apocalypse

01/06/2014 12:32 pm ET | Updated Jan 23, 2014
  • Katla McGlynn Senior Comedy & Viral Editor, The Huffington Post
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In some ways, living in one of the five boroughs could be considered training for the end of days.

  • 1 You're already used to the smell of garbage and urine.
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  • At least we hope that's garbage and urine.
  • 2 Survivors' quarters wouldn't be much different than your current living situation.
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  • Living in a cramped, highly demanded space with practical strangers? Check.
  • 3 Random smoke rising out of the streets is hardly cause for alarm.
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  • Just another beautiful day in the neighborhood.
  • 4 You're up for standing in long lines to wait for precious foodstuffs...
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  • 5 You live fine without a car, an elevator or laundry facilities at home.
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  • Here's to 5-floor walk-ups and washing your delicates in the sink!
  • 6 You're accustomed to spending a lot of time underground.
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  • Daylight is overrated.
  • 7 Malevolent overlords are no match for your malevolent landlord.
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  • At least they won't raise your rent.
  • 8 You'll fit in with zombies thanks to years of dead-eyed, lifeless staggering.
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  • A.K.A. your daily commute.
  • 9 The poison you inhale on an everyday basis will make you impervious to disease.
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  • And maybe even give you super powers!
  • 10 You already see unimaginable things on a daily basis.
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  • Nothing to see here.
  • 11 What better training for night watch duty than living in "The City That Never Sleeps?"
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  • The 24-hour delis will outlast us all.
  • 12 You're already used to surviving with barely a dollar to your name.
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  • We'll have whatever he's having (because we're broke).
  • 13 One of your city's most cherished decorations is already just a big-ass tree.
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  • Done and done.
  • 14 You're totally cool with growing food on your fire escape for nourishment.
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  • Hey, in NYC, every inch of outdoor space counts.
  • 15 Your city's tallest man has already been chosen to lead.
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  • That's how post-apocalyptic elections would work, right?
  • 16 Most of your city's signature dishes can be prepared in a cart.
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  • Hot dogs, pretzels and street meat forever!
  • 17 And finally, when it's just us and the cockroaches left, you'll be prepared
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  • This is what we've been training for!

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