After the announcement of Oscar nominations on Thursday, we can steel ourselves for an incessant stream of articles declaring which of the year's beloved movies and performances were shut out. In the meantime, however, a more pressing set of neglected films is upon us: those that were omitted from the 34th annual Golden Raspberry Awards. As expected, "Grown Ups 2," "After Earth" and "The Lone Ranger" were among the most-nominated movies. But what about Ridley Scott's much-detested "The Counselor"? And nothing for the dull, gaudy "A Good Day to Die Hard"? Razzie voters have taken a page out of the Academy's playbook and left us with a handful of so-called snubs, which raises the question: Were we the only ones forced to endure the painful attempt at slapstick comedy known as "Identity Thief"?
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Check out the Razzie nominations, and then peruse our list of 2013's terrible movies not recognized by the pseudo-awards.
"The Counselor"
20th Century Fox
Rotten Tomatoes score: 34%
Scathing review: "The phony eloquence doesn't make the obfuscated and tedious story any clearer or more compelling. ... And it's not just the dialogue that's inane. The wannabe suspenseful story itself does not do justice to the talented cast caught in its convoluted web." -- Claudia Puig, USA Today
Scathing review: "The phony eloquence doesn't make the obfuscated and tedious story any clearer or more compelling. ... And it's not just the dialogue that's inane. The wannabe suspenseful story itself does not do justice to the talented cast caught in its convoluted web." -- Claudia Puig, USA Today
"Oldboy"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 44%
Scathing review: "[Spike] Lee directs action with a weird chop-socky sloppiness, as if he’s trying to get the unpleasantness over with as quickly as possible—a strange attitude for a director making a film that contains little but unpleasantness." -- Dana Stevens, Slate
Scathing review: "[Spike] Lee directs action with a weird chop-socky sloppiness, as if he’s trying to get the unpleasantness over with as quickly as possible—a strange attitude for a director making a film that contains little but unpleasantness." -- Dana Stevens, Slate
"A Good Day to Die Hard"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 14%
Scathing review: "'A Good Day to Die Hard' is the opposite of a labor of love. It has no good lines, no crackerjack fights, and only one mildly orgasmic revenge killing. It will satisfy no one — high-, low-, or middlebrow. 'Die Hard' is finally in its death throes." -- David Edelstein, New York magazine
Scathing review: "'A Good Day to Die Hard' is the opposite of a labor of love. It has no good lines, no crackerjack fights, and only one mildly orgasmic revenge killing. It will satisfy no one — high-, low-, or middlebrow. 'Die Hard' is finally in its death throes." -- David Edelstein, New York magazine
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"Homefront"
Open Road Films
Rotten Tomatoes score: 40%
Scathing review: Everyone cast against type. Everyone breathtakingly bad, reciting dialogue by Sylvester Stallone that begs for a 'mute' button. Rated OMG." -- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
Scathing review: Everyone cast against type. Everyone breathtakingly bad, reciting dialogue by Sylvester Stallone that begs for a 'mute' button. Rated OMG." -- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
"Walking with Dinosaurs"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 25%
Scathing review: "The awkwardly sophisticated avian patter jars with the barely there romance between two pachyrhinosauri. The only solace from the uninspired characters and crammed-in factoids are the gags about poop and puke — juvenile, yes, but also appropriate for the film's 'back to nature' ethos." -- Inkoo Kang, Village Voice
Scathing review: "The awkwardly sophisticated avian patter jars with the barely there romance between two pachyrhinosauri. The only solace from the uninspired characters and crammed-in factoids are the gags about poop and puke — juvenile, yes, but also appropriate for the film's 'back to nature' ethos." -- Inkoo Kang, Village Voice
"Identity Thief"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 19%
Scathing review: "If the Jason Bateman-Melissa McCarthy comedy 'Identity Thief' isn’t the worst Hollywood comedy ever made, that’s only because it lacks the spark of conviction and genius – the thoroughly misguided belief in itself – that distinguishes something like Adam Sandler’s 'Grown Ups.' But considering that it starts out with two distinctive and likable stars and a reasonably promising premise, 'Identity Thief' reaches impressive heights of laziness and idiocy." -- Andrew O'Hehir, Salon
Scathing review: "If the Jason Bateman-Melissa McCarthy comedy 'Identity Thief' isn’t the worst Hollywood comedy ever made, that’s only because it lacks the spark of conviction and genius – the thoroughly misguided belief in itself – that distinguishes something like Adam Sandler’s 'Grown Ups.' But considering that it starts out with two distinctive and likable stars and a reasonably promising premise, 'Identity Thief' reaches impressive heights of laziness and idiocy." -- Andrew O'Hehir, Salon
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"Free Birds"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 18%
Scathing review: "With its flat punch lines, formulaic action and undercooked mélange of messages — touching on everything from factory farming to genocide — the film waddles awkwardly." -- Sheri Linden, Los Angeles Times
Scathing review: "With its flat punch lines, formulaic action and undercooked mélange of messages — touching on everything from factory farming to genocide — the film waddles awkwardly." -- Sheri Linden, Los Angeles Times
"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters"
Rotten Tomatoes score: 15%
Scathing review: "Norwegian B-movie writer-director Tommy Wirkola makes his bid for Hollywood action glory with this R-rated hokum, providing plenty of regurgitated violence mixed with a few random licks of humor. ... But I doubt that they had Strike Anywhere matches in the 14th century, and I’m pretty sure nobody said things like 'Whatever happens, stay cool.'" -- Rex Reed, New York Observer
Scathing review: "Norwegian B-movie writer-director Tommy Wirkola makes his bid for Hollywood action glory with this R-rated hokum, providing plenty of regurgitated violence mixed with a few random licks of humor. ... But I doubt that they had Strike Anywhere matches in the 14th century, and I’m pretty sure nobody said things like 'Whatever happens, stay cool.'" -- Rex Reed, New York Observer
"47 Ronin"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 11%
Scathing review: "Some of the action sequences demonstrate bold assurance, notably the climactic clash when the ronin infiltrate Kira's fortress. But while the buildup to that battle gathers steam, too much of the poorly paced movie either bogs down in exposition or marks time, and Rinsch displays scant interest in working with the actors to develop their characters." -- David Rooney, The Hollywood Reporter
Scathing review: "Some of the action sequences demonstrate bold assurance, notably the climactic clash when the ronin infiltrate Kira's fortress. But while the buildup to that battle gathers steam, too much of the poorly paced movie either bogs down in exposition or marks time, and Rinsch displays scant interest in working with the actors to develop their characters." -- David Rooney, The Hollywood Reporter
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"I'm In Love with a Church Girl"
Rotten Tomatoes score: 6%
Scathing review: "The intentions for 'I’m in Love With a Church Girl' may have been noble, but nearly every part of the delivery turns out to be flawed. While religion may have been Molina’s salvation, he could have employed a little subtlety when proselytizing about the power of church. Instead, his motives are glaringly transparent and, after two hours, exceedingly tiresome." -- Stephanie Merry, Washington Post
Scathing review: "The intentions for 'I’m in Love With a Church Girl' may have been noble, but nearly every part of the delivery turns out to be flawed. While religion may have been Molina’s salvation, he could have employed a little subtlety when proselytizing about the power of church. Instead, his motives are glaringly transparent and, after two hours, exceedingly tiresome." -- Stephanie Merry, Washington Post
"The Host"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 8%
Scathing review: "What it all comes down to is this: 'The Host' is a postapocalyptic tall tale in which, for two hours, almost nothing happens. The movie is arid, inert, inept, dumbly preposterous, and endless. I was looking at my watch after 20 minutes." -- Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Scathing review: "What it all comes down to is this: 'The Host' is a postapocalyptic tall tale in which, for two hours, almost nothing happens. The movie is arid, inert, inept, dumbly preposterous, and endless. I was looking at my watch after 20 minutes." -- Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
"R.I.P.D."
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 13%
Scathing review: "Less a bad movie than simply not a movie, 'R.I.P.D.' gives every indication of having been a sloppy first-draft script (by Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi) that the producers, in a strange spasm of innovation and despair, said, 'Aaah, what the hell, let’s just shoot the damn thing.'" -- Richard Corliss, TIME magazine
Scathing review: "Less a bad movie than simply not a movie, 'R.I.P.D.' gives every indication of having been a sloppy first-draft script (by Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi) that the producers, in a strange spasm of innovation and despair, said, 'Aaah, what the hell, let’s just shoot the damn thing.'" -- Richard Corliss, TIME magazine
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"CBGB"
Unclaimed Freight Productions
Rotten Tomatoes score: 8%
Scathing review: "'CBGB' is less a piece of cultural history, music criticism or even fannish hagiography than a theme-park attraction, Disney’s Country Bear Jamboree with the likes of Tom Verlaine, Patti Smith, Joey Ramone and Deborah Harry in lieu of bears. These and other stars of the New York punk scene are played by actors who jump around and lip sync over familiar studio versions of well-known songs. It was probably fun for Malin Akerman to pretend to sing for Blondie and for Joel David Moore to do the same for the Ramones, but it is not much fun to watch them do it. The alternative would have been worse, of course — no one wants to hear bad new renditions of great old tunes — but the impersonations fall into the uncanny valley between comedy-sketch parody and cover-band homage." -- A.O. Scott, The New York Times
Scathing review: "'CBGB' is less a piece of cultural history, music criticism or even fannish hagiography than a theme-park attraction, Disney’s Country Bear Jamboree with the likes of Tom Verlaine, Patti Smith, Joey Ramone and Deborah Harry in lieu of bears. These and other stars of the New York punk scene are played by actors who jump around and lip sync over familiar studio versions of well-known songs. It was probably fun for Malin Akerman to pretend to sing for Blondie and for Joel David Moore to do the same for the Ramones, but it is not much fun to watch them do it. The alternative would have been worse, of course — no one wants to hear bad new renditions of great old tunes — but the impersonations fall into the uncanny valley between comedy-sketch parody and cover-band homage." -- A.O. Scott, The New York Times
"The Incredible Burt Wonderstone"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 36%
Scathing review: "Magicians have been pulling rabbits out of hats for ages. And yet, with all this talent, no one can make a decent script materialize. What screenwriters Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (Horrible Bosses) have foisted on the cast, including the great Alan Arkin as a retired magician, shouldn’t happen to anyone, especially an audience." -- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
Scathing review: "Magicians have been pulling rabbits out of hats for ages. And yet, with all this talent, no one can make a decent script materialize. What screenwriters Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (Horrible Bosses) have foisted on the cast, including the great Alan Arkin as a retired magician, shouldn’t happen to anyone, especially an audience." -- Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
"Adore"
Rotten Tomatoes score: 33%
Scathing review: "Everything in 'Adore' is played straight, without a trace of subversiveness or emotional complexity. The script ... is overloaded with the kind of awful dialogue even actors as gifted as [Naomi] Watts and [Robin] Wright can’t salvage (a sample conversation over lunch about their ongoing affairs: “How are you feeling?” “Good.” “Yeah, me too. I can’t remember being this happy.” “It’s scary.” “Very.” “I don’t want to stop.” “I don’t see why we should have to.” -- Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald
Scathing review: "Everything in 'Adore' is played straight, without a trace of subversiveness or emotional complexity. The script ... is overloaded with the kind of awful dialogue even actors as gifted as [Naomi] Watts and [Robin] Wright can’t salvage (a sample conversation over lunch about their ongoing affairs: “How are you feeling?” “Good.” “Yeah, me too. I can’t remember being this happy.” “It’s scary.” “Very.” “I don’t want to stop.” “I don’t see why we should have to.” -- Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald
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"Charlie Countryman"
AP
Rotten Tomatoes score: 29%
Scathing review: "A profoundly unnecessary movie, 'Charlie Countryman' stars Shia LaBeouf as a Ratso Rizzo-impersonating American tourist bumbling through the Romanian netherworld in search of Evan Rachel Wood, whose accent and demeanor suggest that someone dumped a truckload of Ambien into the Bucharest water supply." -- John Anderson, Variety
Scathing review: "A profoundly unnecessary movie, 'Charlie Countryman' stars Shia LaBeouf as a Ratso Rizzo-impersonating American tourist bumbling through the Romanian netherworld in search of Evan Rachel Wood, whose accent and demeanor suggest that someone dumped a truckload of Ambien into the Bucharest water supply." -- John Anderson, Variety
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