SPECIAL FROM Grandparents.com
If you’ve ever felt butterflies after hearing “I love you” or become nauseated during a breakup, you know emotions hold tremendous power over your physical being. Now, science is backing up that idea, as study after study confirms that the feelings generated by social and romantic relationships directly influence your short- and long-term health.
“What you feel has a big effect on your immune system,” says Dr. John Arden, Director of Training for Mental Health in Northern California for Kaiser Permanente and author of The Brain Bible: How to Stay Vital, Productive, and Happy for a Lifetime. “People who are depressed or lonely get colds more often. People who are depressed later in life get dementia earlier.”
Advertisement
So, how do specific emotional moments affect our bodies? Dr. Arden gave us the lowdown.
1
Hearing "I Love You"
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: It's the "rush" everyone talks about; you become focused, energized, and exhilarated, while your blood pressure rises.Why: “Our social brain networks are tightly connected to our hunger for bonding,” says Dr. Arden. “So, thinking about love and talking about love kindles the feelings of love.” Neurologically speaking, hearing those three little words releases dopamine (among other neurotransmitters), the “reward” chemical in your brain responsible for pleasure. Essentially, the exhilaration is your mind responding to the reward of love.
2
Receiving a hug
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: Short-term, your feelings of calm, peace, and comfort increase, and your anxiety is reduced. Long-term, your memory and sleep improve.Why: Oxytocin, a.k.a. the "cuddle hormone” is released during acts of affection, including simple, loving squeezes. It’s crucial during childbirth, too, since it helps create a bond between mom and baby. “We are a species that has thrived on social interaction and bonding,” says Dr. Arden. “Hugging, kissing, and touching are all forms of intimacy that we hunger from our first hours.”
3
Laughing at a great joke
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: It's all good! Your blood pressure, pulse rate, and stress levels decrease, and you may even feel a greater resistance to pain. Why: Whether it comes from a good one-liner, a hilarious sketch, or your partner’s story about the monkey, genuine laughter is a fabulous way to boost your health. “Multiple chemicals are involved in laughter,” says Dr. Arden. “For example, GABA, endorphins, serotonin, and insulin-like growth factor chemicals that act as an antidepressant and anxiety-reducer."
Advertisement
4
Losing a loved one
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: In a word, terrible. With grief frequently comes depression, anxiety, higher blood pressure, an increased pulse rate, a compromised immune system, and even advanced aging.Why: It’s well-known that the passing of a husband or wife can affect the surviving spouse’s health; one University of Glasgow study found we're 30 percent more likely to die within six months of a partner's death. This is partly because sorrow releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline (epinephrine), which can harm the body. “Even down to the telomere (chromosome) level he or she may experience advanced aging,” says Dr. Arden.
5
Being dumped
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: In the moment, your heart rate slows and you may be in actual, physical agony. In the weeks following, gastrointestinal issues, muscle aches, and even a weakened immune system can rear their ugly heads.Why: Think of love like drug addiction; your body grows used to the dopamine and oxytocin rushes of romance, and when they go away, only intense cravings are left. These generally disappear over time, and can be staved off by social events and exercise, which promote the release of dopamine and endorphins.
6
Making love
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: How doesn’t it make you feel? Foreplay stimulates your pleasure center while increasing feelings of trust and intimacy, while actual orgasm relaxes the mind, reducing anxiety and fear. Regular climax is even better, boosting your immune system while easing depression, heart disease, and chronic pain.Why: With so many emotions involved, sex can’t be dismissed as a purely physical occurrence. “Unlike other species that engage in sexual contact to procreate,” says Dr. Arden, “we have cultivated sexuality as a way of expressing love, which is why we say ‘making love.’” Studies show that orgasm bonds us to our partners on a neurological level, thanks to the burst of dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins released by our brains. The health benefits are happy side effects.
Advertisement
7
Fighting with a loved one
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: In the heat of the moment, your pulse rate and breathing increase, your pupils and blood vessels dilate, and you may shake with rage. If you argue frequently, you put yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease.Why: “Fights and arguments stir up the amygdala, and through it, the sympathetic nervous system, and for some people the hypothalamic pituitary axis,” says Dr. Arden. “Both result in the release of stress chemicals, cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenalin.” This fight-or-flight reaction puts undue stress on the heart, and when it happens regularly, spells bad news for your long-term well-being. Maybe that's why hostile people tend to seem unhealthy.
8
Meeting someone new
Shutterstock
How it makes you feel: The first time, your brain will become invigorated and focused. In years to come, meeting new people and exposing yourself to novel situations improve your memory and help keep dementia at bay.Why: Whether it’s a neighbor or a new supermarket cashier, socializing does wonders for your mind, staving off the depression and mental cobwebs that go hand in hand with loneliness and isolation. And if that socializing has romantic potential? It’s all the better. Dr. Arden says, “Meeting someone new opens up a sea of possibilities and uncertainties. If that person is someone whom we find attractive, there is a burst of dopamine, especially if the interaction includes smiling.” In other words, get flirting!