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These 20 Pokemon Will Make You Think Twice Before Trying To Catch 'Em All

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The release of Pokemon X and Y in October 2013 introduced 70 new Pokemon, bringing the known total of Pokemon in the Pokedex to 719. That's a lot of cuddly monsters that have been created over the years.

Pokemon designers, we know you work hard. But, we gotta say, it sometimes feels like you phone in your ideas. Sure, you've created some beautiful, fearsome Pokemon. (Ninetales? Rapidash? These are gorgeous creatures. And we certainly wouldn't want to run into Zekrom in a dark alley.) But some of these pocket monsters seem like you randomly decided a bunch of inanimate objects should be alive and have amazing powers.

We've rounded up 20 examples of Pokemon that just don't seem on par with the rest of their fellow creatures.

If you're not familiar with Pokemon, here are a few things to keep in mind as you scroll through the list: Pokemon are captured and trained by characters Ash, Misty, Brock and other humans in the Pokemon universe who fight one another in an attempt to become Pokemon Master. Also, Pokemon can evolve as they train and grow, so Pokemon with similar names (Vanillite, Vanillish and Vanilluxe, for instance) are evolutions of one another.

Without further ado, here are the 20 weirdest, most random Pokemon that have been created since the beginning of the series:

  • 1
    Crygonal
    Nintendo

    Type: Ice

    Skill: Captures prey with chains of ice, freezing them at -148 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Here's what we know about Cryogonal: It's crystallized water, born in the clouds and turns to vapor when it gets warm. You know, sort of like snow. It doesn't evolve, which makes total sense, because what would weaponized snow become? Hail?

    Why it's weird: The only person who should control snow is Storm from the X-Men. Not some 10-year-old kid.
  • 2
    Litwick
    Nintendo

    Type: Ghost, Fire

    Skill: Absorbing the life energy of people and Pokemon to burn as fuel.

    Litwick, the deceptively adorable candle thing you see above, is a lot like those terrifying fish that live in the depths of the ocean. You know, like the one that almost killed Marlin and Dory in "Finding Nemo"? That's basically what Litwick is. Don't be distracted by it's cuteness, because this is a monster that lures people into a false sense of security before it literally sucks the life force from them.
  • 3
    Lampent
    Nintendo

    Type: Ghost, Fire

    Skill: Wandering cities, usually hanging out near hospitals, to steal the souls of the dying.

    Lampent is the equally terrifying evolution of Litwick. Actually, we're going to go ahead and say it amps up the creepiness factor. As its name and image suggest, it's a lamp. A lamp fueled by the souls of dead people -- which it gets by hanging around hospitals. This seems like a designer looked around the room, pick the first object he saw and made it the most horrible thing in the world.

    I can't stress enough that this is a game for children.
  • 4
    Chandelure
    Nintendo

    Type: Ghost, Fire

    Skill: Hypnotizes prey by waving its arms, then absorbing their spirit to burn as fuel.

    Why is Chandelure creepy? It's Lampent and Litwick, but bigger and badder, plus it reminds us of creepy old houses (aka ghost hangouts). As if that wasn't terrifying enough, it's got the added element of fire, which it uses to burn up spirits. From the Pokedex: "The spirits burned up in its ominous flame lose their way and wander this world forever."

    Shudder.
  • 5
    Klink
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel

    Skill: The two gears spin around each other to create energy.

    Ok, Pokemon. It's stuff like Klink that really makes it look like you're running out of ideas. This is a machine. No, scratch that. This is a piece of a machine. What do you expect us to do with this? Misty's comin' at us with a lizard that breathes fire, and you're like, "Here, throw this gear at it."

    Notice how Klink's facial expression (expressions?) suggests it's surprised that it's expected to fight. We feel you there, buddy. We're having a little trouble wrapping our heads around it, too.
  • 6
    Klang
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel

    Skill: Launches minigears at foes, boomerang-style. If a minigear doesn't come back, it dies.

    Making one of the gears bigger does not make this a more acceptable Pokemon. Try again. Try harder.
  • 7
    Klingklang
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel

    Skill: Energy is released through the spikes in the ring.

    Klingklang would be pretty impressive (proof that spikes make anything more fearsome), if it weren't for that one dopey face left from it's original evolution. Is there any way we can get it to stop looking so surprised?
  • 8
    Vanillite
    Nintendo

    Type: Ice

    Skill: Breathing freezing air at -58 degrees Fahrenheit.

    This … is an ice cream cone. Has anyone at Nintendo (or Game Freak, the company that creates Pokemon for Nintendo) ever had an ice cream cone before? Do they know how fragile ice cream cones are? How easily they melt? How do they expect this frozen treat to stand up against anything?
  • 9
    Vanillish
    Nintendo

    Type: Ice

    Skill: Freezes enemies and hides from them in ice particles it creates.

    You, uh, made the ice cream cone bigger. … I see.
  • 10
    Vanilluxe
    Nintendo

    Type: Ice

    Skill: Expels a blizzard at foes.

    "Hi, welcome to Dairy Queen, what can I get you today?" "Um, yes, hi. I'd like a small twist cone and a Vanilluxe, please. And can I have extra napkins with that?" Come on.
  • 11
    Honedge
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Ghost

    Skill: Stealing the spirit of anyone who touches its hilt.

    Up next in inanimate objects that come to life when given the souls of the innocent: Honedge. This bundle of joy is a sentient sword that -- you guessed it -- is filled with souls. See that blue cloth? That sucker wraps around the arm of anyone stupid enough to grab the hilt, and away their life force goes.
  • 12
    Doublade
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Ghost

    Skill: Complex attack patterns with its two swords.

    As per usual Pokemon logic: What does the one-bladed Honedge evolve into? Two-bladed Doublade. Double the damage, double the emotional scarring that comes from being terrified by random inanimate objects that will kill you.
  • 13
    Aegislash
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Ghost

    Skill: Can switch between offensive and defensive moves with the use of its shield.

    As an evolutionary measure (never mind the fact that inanimate objects are evolving), Aegislash has ditched the second sword and opted instead for a shield. It's a sword; its whole purpose is to hit objects like other swords. What does it need a shield for?
  • 14
    Luvdisc
    Nintendo

    Type: Water

    Skill: Swimming after loving couples it spots in the waves.

    We're pretty sure Luvdisc is supposed to be some sort of fish. We're not scientists, but how does it swim with no fin-like apparatus or tail? And why is it spying on couples enjoying themselves in the ocean? Creepy. Let's call this what it is and say Pokemon's designers ran out of fish ideas, so someone just drew a heart.
  • 15
    Bronzor
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Psychic

    Skill: The patterns on their backs are said to contain a mysterious power

    The Pokedex says these bad boys were found in ancient tombs and are covered in strange markings. So, we're to believe that we should entrust these priceless artifacts of unknown origins to kids? Was all of Indiana Jones' hard work for nothing?
  • 16
    Bronzong
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Psychic

    Skill: Brings rain during times of drought by opening portals to another world.

    First things first: If this is the evolution of Bronzor, doesn't it seem like it skipped a few evolutionary steps? I mean, we went from a disk to a bell with arm-like appendages. It can open portals to other worlds? Seems like a jump.

    Now, about the portals. Again, we're giving this extraordinary power to children for what can be described only as exotic cockfighting. Think about it.
  • 17
    Magnemite
    Nintendo

    Type: Electric, Steel

    Skill: Born with the ability to defy gravity; magnetism.

    Another powerful Pokemon, Magnemite looks like a random assortment of junk that's been drawn together by magnetic force. It's almost like the Pokemon designers opened their junk drawers and thought, "Yeah, ok. This works."
  • 18
    Magneton
    Nintendo

    Type: Electric, Steel

    Skill: Dries up moisture in the vicinity, disrupts radio waves, disrupts electricity, can set off a magnetic storm, stops TV sets from displaying properly.

    How is this an evolution? This is just three small Pokemon hanging out next to each other. This is something that shouldn't be allowed to happen. Look at all the horrible things it causes! No TV? What sort of sick, alternate universe is this?
  • 19
    Magnezone
    Nintendo

    Type: Electric, Steel

    Skill: Generates magnetism.

    Aside from a lackluster number of skills, Magnezone's description in the Pokedex says that it evolved because of exposure from a magnetic field, which altered its molecular composition, changing it from its prior molecule-like shape as Magneton to its more Jetson-esque spaceship shape.
  • 20
    Klefki
    Nintendo

    Type: Steel, Fairy

    Skill: Threatens attackers by jingling its keys at them; hides from attackers

    Of all the weird Pokemon on this list, Klefki really takes the cake. It's a set of keys that hides from you. It takes ordinary people's daily struggles and turns them into a Pokemon. You've really outdone yourselves this time, guys.

CLARIFICATION: An earlier version of this post failed to mention that Game Freak develops Pokemon for Nintendo.

 
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