As we catalogued our most shameful delivery orders of all time this week, we realized that there was a bit of a pattern: we had often indulged in one too many cocktails before they occurred. We are all adults, and there is the possibility that we should know better, but most of us subscribe to a very strict "work hard, play hard" ethos and occasionally that leads to making moderately idiotic food choices in the heat of the moment.
Whether our eyes were six times the size of our stomachs, our motor skills were impaired sufficiently to totally embarrass us or we just lost touch with good taste momentarily, below you'll find some of your HuffPost Editors' most gut-wrenching drunk food fails. All answers are anonymous to protect our egos. We promise we will try harder and drink more water next time.
No judgement here. This is a safe place. With pizza and room service.
"At around 2am at a 24-hour diner, I sat down with 8 of my friends and didn't even look at the menu. When the server came to take orders, I looked him dead in the eye and just said, 'Appetizer sampler. Budweiser.'
I ate all of the mozzarella sticks, one potato skin and basically fell asleep at the table. I will never live it down." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
In college, I woke up with a trail of shredded cheese leading from my fridge to my bed.
This was not a unique occurrence. – Anonymous HuffPost Editor
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"I woke up with a slice of pizza on my chest." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
I went bar-hopping and ended the night at a bar that had a kitchen that didn't close until 4am. So, at 3am, when I was unintelligible and wasted, I ordered something called a "New England Clam Chowder Pot Pie" -- it came in sizes, I ordered the biggest one -- and a large platter of onion rings, fries and mozzarella sticks. I don't even remember how much it all cost or if I even finished it all... I just know I woke up feeling THE WORST HANGOVER I HAVE EVER FELT.
It was like a full-body, fried-food-chowder-and-vodka hangover. I've steered clear of chowders past 8pm ever since.– Anonymous HuffPost Editor
"One head-shaker includes a Ramen noodle sandwich (toasted bread though, so increase fancy about 15%) with seasoning packets sprinkled on top." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
I ordered of hotel room service at 3am one time and fell asleep before it arrived. Woke up to cold pasta and soggy grilled cheese and chicken fingers outside my door.– Anonymous HuffPost Editor
"After a wedding, my fiancé and I went up to our hotel room instead of going out to the after-party. It was after midnight and we were both drunk and both hilariously put on the hotel robes and ordered a pizza from probably the only place open at that hour. A medium wouldn't do for us -- we ordered a large, with mushrooms -- to our hotel room.
When the guy delivered our pizza we were both so embarrassed to open the door in our bath robes. I made him do it. The whole time we kept saying "when in robes" (a la when in Rome) and thought it was really funny. We ate pizza in bed, in robes." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
I got a roast beef and gravy sandwich at the deli on my way home, but dropped the entire thing on the ground after one bite.– Anonymous HuffPost Editor
Vasko Miokovic Photography via Getty Images
"One night, while out with friends at the Crocodile Lounge, I noticed we had about 7 extra tickets for free personal pizzas. For anyone who hasn't gone to this bar, each drink comes with a free personal pie. So I decided to try to get all those pizzas then hand them out to homeless people when we left (there are always homeless people in the East Village of Manhattan). The problem was we couldn't take the metal plates with us, so I had to stack and carry all 7 pizzas in my hands.
When I got out, the center of my pizza mountain began to collapse, and I quickly realized no homeless person will be receiving a personal pizza that night, unless they grabbed it off the ground. In an effort to note waste the food, we tried to gobble up pieces of what was morphing into a ball of pizza. My friend who has a gluten intolerance attempted to just eat the cheese. It was messy, and we more or less looked like how dogs look when they attempt to eat pizza." -- Anonymous HuffPost Editor
I was planning to make myself a quesadilla when I got home, but then realized that I only had cheese and no tortillas. I ended up melting cheese onto a plate in the microwave. It was... actually pretty good.– Anonymous HuffPost Editor