10 Excuses That Don't Work Anymore

Was that an excuse or a reason you just gave? We spotted a thread on Reddit.com about 10 Common Excuses That Don't Work, and it got us inspired. Here's the post-50 version of old excuses that no longer hold up. As President George Washington once said, “It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” So maybe it's time to retire these. Please add your own contributions of excuses that no longer work in the comments below.

1) I left my wallet home. Do you mind getting the check this time?
Not a problem, Cheapskate! Or how about you just use the phone you've been texting on all evening and PayPal me your half right now?

2) Really Officer, I wasn't texting.
You were just checking Facebook, totally different.

3) The dog ate my homework.
Wow, the keyboard and everything?

4) I'm too sick to come to work.
No problem (for us)! You can work from home.

5) I worked late and then came straight home.
Except Foursquare says otherwise.

6) I didn't know he was married.
Because the WiFi signal was bad in the bar and you didn't immediately Google him?

7) Sorry, I would have called but couldn't find a phone.
No comment.

8) Snapchat photos always disappear.
Said the stupidest kid alive to his mother.

9) I called you back but you didn't pick up.
And my phone says otherwise.

10) Holy moly! That was today?
Yes and you got four calendar reminders by email and three pop-ups.