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HUFFPOST HILL - Politicos Gather To Network, Eat Bacon-Wrapped Scallops, Die A Little On The Inside

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This weekend is the White House Correspondents Dinner, or, as we fondly call it, the apotheosis of Mark Leibovich's self-loathing. Darrell Issa subpoenaed John Kerry to discuss Benghazi, at which point he will have all the answers he needs and put this issue to bed forever. And Ruth Bader Ginsburg insisted once again that she won't retire just to ensure a Democrat nominates her replacement. We'll see how smug she feels when President Jeb Bush and a Republican Senate revenge-confirm Associate Justice Harriet Myers. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Friday, May 2nd, 2014:

ISSA SUBPOENAS JOHN KERRY ON #BENGHAZI #TCOT #IMPEACH - And what does Vince Foster know about all of this? Jen Bendery: "Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) on Friday subpoenaed Secretary of State John Kerry to testify on the 2012 attack on the American diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya. Issa, who chairs the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, tweeted that he has summoned Kerry to testify on May 21, when the committee holds a public hearing on the matter. He also accused the State Department of showing 'a disturbing disregard for its legal obligations to Congress' when it comes to producing documents on the matter. A State Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity said that Kerry is scheduled to be in Mexico on May 21, adding that is something Issa's committee 'would have known if they had reached out to us instead of issuing a subpoena by tweet.' The official said it's unclear if Kerry 'is even aware of the request' and said the department is 'surprised' by Issa's subpoena, given State officials have been 'cooperating all along with the committee.' Issa's subpoena comes a day after he accused the administration of potentially criminal actions, as new allegations surfaced that the White House hid certain emails from Deputy National Security Adviser Ben Rhodes which discussed the attacks . On Thursday White House press secretary Jay Carney vehemently denied any wrongdoing by the administration and accused Republicans of trying to politicize the incident that left four Americans dead." [HuffPost]

That time Mark Udall tweeted that he "thrusts" women to make their own decision.

THIS IS HOW THE JOHN CONYERS ERA ENDS, NOT WITH A BANG BUT WITH A WEAK-ASS FIELD OPERATION - Dude, really? WDIV: "Veteran U.S. Congressman John Conyers does not have enough signatures to get on the Aug. 5 primary ballot, according to Wayne County Clerk Cathy Garrett. Garrett told Local 4 on Friday that the signatures of two of Conyers' circulators appear to be invalid. However, she said this is not the final decision on the issue. That will come by May 7, following an investigation into a formal challenge of Conyers' signatures. If he doesn't get on the ballot, Conyers will have to run as a write-in candidate for his 26th term. The 84-year-old Detroit Democrat is coming up on 50 years in the U.S. House of Representatives. He needed 1,000 valid voter signatures to get his name on the ballot. On Wednesday, one of the Deputy Clerks, who did not want to appear on camera, told Local 4 Conyers qualified with 1,193 total signatures. Conyers put out a statement saying the Clerk's Office verified his petitions. 'I am pleased that the County Clerk has determined that there are a sufficient number of signatures to allow my name to appear on the ballot in the upcoming August 5th primary election. I look forward to a full and robust campaign in the primary and general elections,' Conyers' statement reads. However, Conyers' statement was premature as Garrett now says Conyers does not appear to have enough valid signatures on his nominating petitions." [WDIV]

K Street building collapse forces strip club evacuation.

GINSBURG REITERATES THAT SHE'S NOT RETIRING ANYTIME SOON - Journal: "From her second-story chambers at the Supreme Court, the calls for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to retire are nearly inaudible. Justice Ginsburg isn't surprised some liberal academics, such as Erwin Chemerinsky of the University of California, Irvine, want her out so President Barack Obama can nominate a successor before November elections put Democratic control of the Senate in jeopardy. She just doesn't care that much. 'It's expectable. I'm now the oldest judge on the court,' Justice Ginsburg, who turned 81 on March 15, said in an interview. 'I can't say that I ignore it, but I have to do what seems to me to be right,' she added, suggesting she's not going anywhere as long as her health holds out. For a woman who coined her own word for trailblazing—'pathmarking,' which regularly appears in her opinions—that means pressing on. By many measures, Justice Ginsburg has never been more influential on the court than she is now. Since 2010, when Justice John Paul Stevens retired, Justice Ginsburg has been the senior member of the court's liberal wing, a position that brought her a new measure of authority. When the court splits 5-4 along its conservative-liberal divide, it's her job to assign the dissent—a power she takes seriously." [WSJ]

Haircuts: Ryan Grim (h/t Ryan Grim), Mark Blumenthal (h/t Mark Blumenthal), Nick Wing (h/t Nick Wing).

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - Cory Brooks, a senior at George Washington University, has the latest in our All Work, No Pay series: "My friends always ask how I stay in such good shape, how I never gained the 'Freshman 15.' I smile and shrug, but what I really want to tell them is that being too poor to buy food is great for keeping the weight off." [HuffPost]

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DEMS FINALIZING 2016 PRIMARY SCHEDULE - Though the DNC has yet to specify when the candidates will be making inappropriate allusions to Robert Kennedy's assassination. "The first votes cast in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination would take place in February 2016, according to a proposal that cleared a major hurdle Friday at a Democratic National Committee meeting here in the nation’s capital. The proposed nominating calendar would have the Iowa caucuses take place on February 1, New Hampshire primary on February 9, Nevada caucuses on February 20 and the South Carolina primary on February 27. All other states would have to wait until March 1 to hold a caucus or primary and be required to do so no later than June 10. The DNC’s Rules and Bylaws Committee approved the proposed calendar dates along a unanimous voice vote. The full DNC membership will vote on the measure in August. It was one of several rules and procedures addressed by the Rules committee that will govern how the Democratic Party chooses its next presidential nominee. The decision by national Democrats and Republicans to grant these four states the privileged status in the presidential nominating process is controversial and has drawn resentment from party leaders in some states who see this as an unfair carve-out." [CNN]

THE SOUTH IS RISING AGAIN - And by "The South," we mean "Republican constituents in the rural and exurban parts of Wisconsin." And by "rising again," we mean, "not rising." Amanda Terkel: "The Wisconsin Republican Party will be voting this weekend on whether it endorses the right to secede from the rest of the country and nullify any federal law, a clear departure from the legacy of Abraham Lincoln. Daniel Bice at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that delegates at the state Republican convention will consider a measure on Saturday 'that directs lawmakers to push through legislation nullifying Obamacare, Common Core educational standards and 'drone usage in the state of Wisconsin.'' It also asserts the right, 'under extreme circumstances,' to secede from the United States of America...The Wisconsin resolution is opposed by many Republicans in the state, including Gov.Scott Walker (R). Walker is often mentioned as a possible presidential candidate in 2016, and it would be tough to run for president if your state isn't even part of the country. Conservative Wisconsin radio host Charlie Sykes has called the resolution 'crackpotism on steroids.'" [HuffPost ]

Rick Scott will approve legislation that could be seen as a gateway to full legalization of medical marijuana, but no news on whether cancer patients will have to be drug tested first. Andrew Perez: "Florida Gov. Rick Scott (R) said Thursday he'll approve legislation legalizing a medical marijuana extract low in THC to treat patients and children suffering from conditions that include epilepsy. Despite his opposition to medical marijuana, Scott told The Associated Press he would sign the so-called Charlotte's Web bill, which passed the Republican-controlled state House with bipartisan support on Thursday. Charlotte's Web, a marijuana strain low in the compound THC that gets users high, has been shown to curb seizures in children with intractable epilepsy not controlled by traditional medication. 'I'm a parent and a grandparent,' Scott said. 'I want to make sure my children, my grandchildren have access to the health care they want.' The state Senate passed the bill on Monday and, due to some changes by the House, will have to vote again before Scott can sign it. Still, his pledge of support surprised advocates, according to the Tampa Bay Times." [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here is corgi who really likes the Beatles.

A KKK HOOD IS NOT A POLITICAL TOOL, EVEN IF USED IRONICALLY - This is why we can't have nice things... and by "things" we mean "a meaningful dialogue about the systemic racism that plays a very real role in today's society." And things. TPM: "Wisconsin state Rep. Brett Hulsey, a Democratic candidate for governor, plans to blitz the state's Republican convention this weekend with Ku Klux Klan hoods he refers to as 'Republican Party hats,' according to the Wisconsin State Journal. Asked whether doling out the KKK hoods could be considered offensive, Hulsey told the Wisconsin State Journal on Thursday that 'What I find offensive is Gov. Walker and the Republicans' racist record. They’re the ones considering the resolution to leave the United States.' When asked by the Associated Press 'whether he was serious, trying to be funny or provocative' with the gesture, the lawmaker responded 'All of the above.' Democratic and Republican Party officials alike have criticized Hulsey's plan to distribute the hoods...In addition to passing out the hoods, Hulsey plans to hold a rally Friday outside of Gov. Scott Walker's (R) convention speech featuring participants dressed up as Confederate soldiers, according to the Wisconsin State Journal. The gesture alludes to a resolution affirming Wisconsin's right to secede from the union that is set to come up for a vote during the convention." [TPM]

COMFORT FOOD

- It took my car, it took it down... watch a landslide swallow a whole row of parked cars. [http://bit.ly/1kAuRgt]

- Turns out "The Lion King" and "Frozen" are effectively the same movie. [http://bzfd.it/1mlV32y]

- Man has discovered the surest way to sneak into any sports game. [http://bit.ly/1nNPkBY]

- Storage supply companies really shouldn't try to integrate "the cloud" into their ad campaigns. [http://bit.ly/PYgd7I]

- A tremendously awkward compilation of Kiss Cam fails. [http://bit.ly/1rN5Sb0]

- Banksy has nothing on the people who tagged a whale. [http://bit.ly/1nbclfQ]

- Mix milk and Coke and the results are unexpectedly disgusting. [http://bit.ly/1kwL7h8]

TWITTERAMA

@mccarthyryanj: There are currently 57 US journalists writing the same "maybe April isn't the cruelest month" lede about this jobs report.

@jestei: I'm making turkey meatballs for dinner. Embargoed until 6 pm.

@marionbarryjr: I'm so tired of people using my name & life in vain. I've fought the good fight for 50 years. Good bye.

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