If we're being honest, Twitter was a pretty dark (yet important) place for women this week. When the killing spree near the University of California, Santa Barbara, was revealed to have misogynistic motivations, the hashtag #YesAllWomen made the rounds as women shared stories of harassment that "all men" commit, but "all women" experience.
Between existential cultural discussions and the mourning another phenomenal woman, we counted on women of twitter for a few moments of levity. One way to avoid sexual harassment in the work place. "Pretending to have a cold all the time," Anna Drezen tweeted. "I don't wanna shake your hand and kiss you on the cheek, I'm sick despite having no symptoms, I know, crazy right?" Too real.
The Kimye wedding was also excellent fodder for tweeters. "Kim and Kanye are like an ex on facebook. You might not like them, but you're gonna look through all their pictures," tweeted Michelle Wolf. It's funny 'cause it's true.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Everyone knows you should drink water all day long, but eating breakfast cereal all day long is also easy and convenient!
— Ann Imig (@annsrants) May 28, 2014
Been pounding the pavement since 8 a.m. to get a job as the person that yells "hey" in rap songs, but, so far, no luck.
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) May 28, 2014
Kim and Kanye are like an ex on facebook. You might not like them, but you're gonna look through all their pictures.
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) May 27, 2014
Good news: I'm Spring cleaning. Bad news: Spring of 2006ish
— MarinkaNYC (@MarinkaNYC) May 29, 2014
Feeling compelled to tweet mean things about celebrities just to see if they will read them aloud on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
— GoonSquadSarah (@GoonSquadSarah) May 29, 2014
May your corn chips always be fresh, and your cheese always perfectly melted. Amen.
— Naazihah (@naazihah) May 29, 2014
just saw a man crying. I feel...my powers...growing...
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) May 30, 2014
Cutting sugar out of your diet makes you say weird things like, "Mmm these carrots are sweet."
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 29, 2014
When I'm out and I see someone I know but they don't see me, I consider that a win.
— caprice crane (@capricecrane) May 29, 2014
Okay, I've been in heels for 15 minutes. Can I go back to bed yet?
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) May 30, 2014
Just shouted in frustration because I couldn't remember the serenity prayer
— Alexis Kleinman (@alexiskleinman) May 25, 2014
She must think she's a tree throwing that much shade
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) May 30, 2014
"I dont wanna shake your hand and kiss you on the cheek, I'm sick despite having no symptoms, I know, crazy right"
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) May 27, 2014
Women, what happened to you?
K, can we get a man to verify that? Can we get a couple of men to verify that? Just doing due diligence here.
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) May 30, 2014
Waiting for the doctor's call to find out if I have to get my kimye removed :(
— Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya) May 30, 2014
I wish people's voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 30, 2014
Everyone laughs at my shoebox collection, until their diorama is due
— Emily Lallouz (@seriouslyemily) May 30, 2014
Take a moment today to remember the men and women who didn't invite you to their Memorial Day parties.
— Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) May 26, 2014
Fighting with your sister about which Kardashian you would be is a very Kardashian thing to do.
— Noreen Malone (@NoreenMalone) May 23, 2014