DIVORCE
06/21/2014 11:20 am ET Updated Jun 21, 2014

10 Things You Should Know About Sex After Divorce

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By Live By Surprise for DivorcedMoms.com

In America, it's common to get married young without a lot of sexual experience. Oftentimes, people who marry young have had one to two partners prior to their spouse, and even in today's landscape, it's possible to marry your first lover.

After marriage, sex becomes vanilla. And after children arrive, you get into parenting, and lose your sense of your sexual self and suddenly, divorce is thrust upon you and you're left wondering what happened.

There's good news! You are now an experienced sexual partner and in demand! Yummy mummies and MILFs are overtaking internet searches and in high demand -- and you have just become one!

It's time to take charge of your sex life -- get comfortable with yourself again and get back between the sheets.

1. You can’t get over someone by getting under someone else. You're excited about your new "single" status. But you're not ready to take on the world until after you've taken some time to reassess. Get to know yourself inside and out before jumping into your next relationship. Embrace your single woman status, get some new clothing, take a meditation class. Become the new you. Then start your search for the next Mr. Right. Or the next Mr. Right-Now.

2. Sex toys are a single gal’s best friend. Until you're ready to start "dating" again -- sex toys can take the edge off. And you don't have to make a potentially embarrassing run down to the local sex shop to get one -- they're conveniently available on several websites, and delivered in discrete packaging.

3. Getting naked with someone new can be scary. Your post divorce body is nowhere near what it was prior to your marriage. You may have had kids. You've put on a few pounds. Consider returning to slide one. The good news is, unless you're dating the twenty year old down the street, your potential "mate" is similarly disadvantaged and aware that not all women are super models. And if you are dating the twenty year old down the street (good for you!!), he's just excited to have an experienced woman in his bed. So hang your hang ups on the bedpost, get in there and have a good time!

4. STDs are not just for the young. The over 50 crowd is the largest growing STD demographic. Get yourself checked out prior to starting a relationship and take appropriate precautions to keep yourself safe.

5. Post-divorce sex is a confidence builder! Feeling sexy again can help you rebuild yourself into the new sexy, single woman that you are. Buy yourself some sexy lingerie to start your own self confidence movement and keep the momentum going.

6. Lube. Yes, you read that right! Lube. As you age, vaginal dryness can become an issue that may affect your enjoyment of sex. Don't avoid sex if you have experienced this issue. There are a ton of natural feeling products out there and your partner doesn't even need to know; there are products out there to refresh mimsy without his involvement. Get some, jump back in the sack and enjoy.

7. Mommy’s night off! The one good thing about sharing custody: mommy gets a few nights to herself. This will give you the time you need to rediscover what your tastes are. Figure out what you can tolerate in a man and more importantly, what it was about your last relationship that you couldn't tolerate. And that includes the bedroom.

8. Birth control. There are a lot more birth control options out there than there were prior to your marriage. Go speak to a doctor and figure out what your best option is. Be prepared for when you step into the sexual arena -- you don't want to be caught off guard. It's your body; it's your responsibility.

9. Men hit their sexual peak in their twenties. It's not a bad thing that you can't seem to pick up that twenty year old in the bar who looks like he started shaving yesterday. Although they say men reach their sexual peak in their twenties, what that really means that their recover rate is quicker. Who needs all that pressure? An older man has learned control and how to please. He'll take the time to ensure that it counts.

10. Sex gets better as you get older. You're not old -- you're experienced! You have a wealth of sexual knowledge under your belt. Even if you've only been with one partner for a long time, you've figured out what you like (and don't like) and can communicate it to your new partner. Use it to your advantage!

More from DivorcedMoms.com
5 Books That Helped Me Navigate Post-Divorce Life
How I Became A Strong, Sexy And Confident Woman After Divorce
Americans In Bed
Sexless Marriage: When A Man Doesn’t Make Love To His Wife
The 8 Sexiest Things Men Can Do For Women That Are Absolutely Free

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