Huffpost Divorce

Why I Purchased 'F**k Me' Heels Every Year Since My Split

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If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well, too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com or tweet @HuffPost Divorce

After you get divorced,everyone and their mother wants to know what went wrong in your marriage.

But what are you suppose to say when someone actually has the gumption to ask? Below, writer Lara Lillibridge shares with us the sage statement she gave anyone who was curious about her personal life post-divorce. Also up for discussion? The handful of things that made splitting up a little less stressful for the single mom and essayist -- including some awesome pairs of heels.

  • The Saying
    ReciteThis
    "I really felt strongly about not blabbing about my divorce to people my ex had to deal with on a regular basis, particularly people at my sons' school. I came up with a standard reply to all those irritating questions: 'He's a great guy and father, just not the right guy for me.' It might not have satisfied people, but it shut down gossip and set the tone for how other people dealt with us. We acted with maturity and people treated us as two stable parents who lived apart."
  • The Splurge
    miamism/Flickr
    "I bought myself a pair of 'f*ck me pumps' for my birthday, a tradition I have continued every year since. Not nice heels, mind you, but ridiculous, Vegas showgirl, I-can-barely-walk-in-them high heels. Totally impractical but fun to look at. I'd leave them sitting out so I could admire them."
  • The Books
    Lasse Kristensen via Getty Images
    "Textbooks! I went back to school and finished my bachelor's degree, so I didn't have much time for fun reading. One of the things that helped a lot during those early days when I barely slept and my ex and I barely spoke was to keep a kid's journal that we sent back and forth. We'd write down what the kids ate, what the baby was doing developmentally, or how often we gave medicine. We didn't keep it up for long, but now it's one of the only written records I have of the baby's accomplishments. "
  • The Music
    "I had never been much into music, but I got my first iPod shortly after I moved out and for the first time I could understand the words to the songs I had been singing along to on the car radio for years. Of course 'I Will Survive' was on the list, but the Cake version, which was mellower and cooler. For some reason 'Free Fallin'' by Tom Petty was permanently stuck in my head that summer, too, and the entire Jagged Little Pill album by Alanis Morissette. I couldn't get enough of that."
  • The Restaurant
    PhotoStock-Israel via Getty Images
    "The Indian restaurant down the street became one of my favorite places to eat. When I'd walk in the door, they would start my order without being asked. I had never eaten Indian food before my divorce, so it symbolized all the new and exciting things life had in store. What was awesome was that because I was a regular the owners let me park in their lot during a snow emergency once."
  • The Hobby
    Yekaterina Rashap via Getty Images
    "After my divorce, I returned to the activities I loved as a child but hadn't done much of as an adult: dance classes, rollerblading, swimming. I asked Santa for a bike and got one in a smashing shade of pink."
  • The Work Of Art
    Lara Lillibridge
    "My mother was getting rid of this painted fabric thing and I begged her to send it up from Florida for me. I think I loved it mainly because my ex would've hated it. Hanging it up was also about returning to my feminist woman-power roots and celebrating beauty in all different shapes and sizes. I took it down when my boys got older, though, and I had to answer 'why is there a woman showing her bottom on the wall, and why is her arm growing out of her head?' a few too many times."



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