This Is How Often Married People Are Having Sex

07/17/2014 03:31 pm ET | Updated Feb 05, 2015
  • Taryn Hillin Fmr. Associate Editor, Huffington Post Weddings and Divorce and current YA author / screenwriter and journalist.

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It's often thought that when you tie the knot, your sex life all but dies.

From hectic work schedules to kids' demands, roadblocks to doing the deed can seem endless. You may find yourself wondering, "Is our sex life normal?" We're here to tell you that there is no normal -- sex is different for every couple.

Don't believe us? A Reddit thread popped up this week asking married folks to weigh in on how often they have sex. We separated the answers into three categories, based on how long the couples have been married. Some of the answers may surprise you:

Married 0-7 years:

1. "I'm 33, he's 29. Married one year, together for 3, one kid. Sex happens on average once a week."

2. "My husband and I have been married almost three years and have a baby. We have sex twice a week on average, sometimes more. It is really not a big deal to us though. The sex is AMAZING and just gets better, but we are so happy together it is just a very small part of our relationship."

3. "Married a year and a half, together 5. We have sex from 3 times a week to daily. You'd think after 5 years it'd get boring, but we communicate our wants and needs and that not only leads to fantastic sex but also strengthens our marriage."

4. "I'm 29, he's 26. Married a little over a year and we have a 2 year old. I'd say 2-3 times a week. I'd be ok with 1-2 times a week while he would prefer 5-6 times a week."

5. "Married 1 and 1/2 years. 1 - 2 [times] every other week. We work opposite schedules and have had very, very busy weekends. We are both sad about it, but deeply love each other. Zero kids."

Married 7-15 years:

6. "Married 7 years and now with 1 child. We went from about 1-3 times a day, to 1-3 times a week. But we are both OK with this; because if you 'save up for it', the sex is AWESOME."

7. "Almost 30, married almost 8 years. We do the sex about once every 10 days. She's just started her third trimester, though, sooo..."

8. "Oldish. Married 15 years. On average we have sex three times a week, but sometimes it's every day. What's more important is we talk and cuddle every day."

9. "Together for 14 years, been married for 11 years, four kids. When things are not closed for maintenance about five times a week."

10. "37 & 35. Married almost 15 years. It's all over the place. Life is really crazy right now. We're both working, both in school, and have a 5-year-old son. Sometimes it's 3x a week, sometimes it's none."

11. "Late 30s. Married 15. Five kids. Our quota is four times a week. Although 'quota' sounds weird, we joke around about it and it's a way for us to remember that although we're busy with life, we still need to have some romantic time with each other to stay sane."

Married more than 15 years:

12. "Married 17 years: 2-3 times a year."

13. "Together 30 years, married 25, two kids, in our 50's. We get it on 3 to 5 times a week. When we do not, we rub each other, kiss and snuggle. It is better than I anticipated it would be at this point."

14. "I'm 55, married for 32 years. Twice a week, more or less."

15. "I'm 45, she's 46. Married 21 years, recently started a live-in separation. Haven't had sex in over five years."

16. "Married for 20 years, together for 22. Sometimes it's three times in a day, sometimes it's once every two weeks. It just depends on what life's throwing at us. Sometimes it's nice, easy lazy morning sex, sometimes it's an hour of intense f***ing."

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