Huffpost Divorce

17 Ways Divorce Changes You For The Better

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The divorce process gets a bad rap -- and understandably so. It zaps your energy, makes you question your decision to get married in the first place, and leaves you wanting to curl up in the fetal position on most nights.

The silver lining to it all? If you're willing to brave the process, you usually come out the other end stronger and more self-possessed than you'd been during those final months of your marriage.

HuffPost Divorce readers will tell you just as much. Below, they share the one way divorce changed them for the better. See what they had to say, then head to the comments and share with us one positive effect divorce had on you.

1. "It truly forced me to stop being someone I'm not in order to make someone else happy. Because of divorce, I'm now focused on just being the best version of me I can be."

2. "I learned that my happiness IS important and that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's essential."

3. "Divorce made me more assertive in my current relationships -- not just marital, but with family and friends as well. Once I crossed the line of 'its my life, and I don't have to put up with this crap if I don't want to,' there was no turning back. It was a complete liberation. Hallelujah!"

4. "I've learned that I, alone, am enough."

5. "It gave me the strength to know that rejection wouldn't kill me, despite what I had previously thought. I also learned that failure is only a temporary thing and not something to be afraid of."

6. "I now recognize that there's no room in my life for that kind of pain anymore. I no longer need to explain myself to my ex-husband. It's peaceful. Life after divorce is what you make of it."

7. "I learned a lot, but here's just one thing: That you can only be responsible for your own happiness, and that it's not your job to be accountable for someone else's. Happiness can only be determined by oneself. If someone expects you to provide happiness for them or you expect someone to give 'happiness' to you, it won't be enough. Sadly, if a person can't find happiness in themselves, they'll probably never find it."

8. "I'm more aware of what I want out of life and how a partner would fit into that, rather than how I fit around a partner."

9. "The verbal filter I used to have is completely gone. I say whatever I need to say."

10. "I'm happier and have less anxiety since my divorce. I also have lower expectations of people around me. I focus my energy on those that have been there for me instead of trying to hang on to people that don't have a true interest in me or my kids. I've definitely learned that people will believe what they want to believe and I don't need to try to convince them otherwise. The truth has a way of coming through, sometimes it just takes a while."

11. "Divorce has made me a more confident, wiser, empathetic and empowered person, and a much better communicator."

12. "Because of my divorce, I know that I'm fully capable of living alone. I'm so much happier and better off without the drama and abuse."

13. "It changed my thinking about marriage. I'm not sure that I'll ever get married again."

14. "Divorce taught me that I can fix, repair, install and put back together just about any appliance or piece of furniture in my home. But more importantly, it taught me that being single doesn't necessarily mean lonely."

15. "I always give people an opportunity to be honest and speak their mind. I never want to be blindsided again."

16. "I learned what I will and won't accept from those in my life. I never allow myself to be treated like I'm not important again."

17. "I don't live in fear any more. That fear left the building when he did. I can vouch for this: Living fearlessly is an awesome and freeing feeling."

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