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10 Bizarre Crimes That Prove America Is Way Too Addicted To Fast Food

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BURGER FRIES
draghicich via Getty Images

We all know fast food does criminal things to our bodies, but sometimes it even makes people commit crimes. We're not here to argue for a sodium/violent crime correlation, but we do want to delve a little deeper into the matter.

From people setting Christmas trees on fire at Denny's to others losing their sh*t at McDonald's, we bring you a break down of fast food, and how its led to some pretty bizarre crimes.

1. The "You've messed with the wrong pyro" crime.

Christmas a time to sit back, relax and spend time with family. Or, it's the perfect time to burn down a Christmas tree in a blaze of glory at Denny's if your waiter takes too long to bring you the check. At least, that's what this guy did-- resulting in $150,000 in damages. Patience is a virtue, and it's also cheaper than arson.

2. When the price goes up, so does capital murder.
taco bell

After yelling at the drive-thru worker who informed him that his favorite Taco Bell burrito had gone up in price, one man decided to turn his fast food run into a fast-track to jail time. The unnamed man apparently protested the price by shooting at the police with a BB gun, moving to an assault weapon and eventually ended things with a 3 1/2 hour standoff.

3. Split your McDonald's dessert, or get stabbed.

Sharing is caring, and if you don't share, your brother will stab you with a steak knife, repeatedly. Most "sharing" anecdotes don't end in aggravated assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct, but this one did after a man failed to split his brownie with his brother. We have a feeling there are more than just "fast food" problems going on with this guy.

4. Dairy products make people do the darndest things.
mcdonalds cheeseburger

Sometimes, McDonald's employees put cheese on hamburgers. Sometimes, people assault said employees for doing this. In a case of "Biggest Overreaction Ever," Sean Varone went on a Mickey D's rampage at a Pennsylvania restaurant and hit an employee over a few slices of delicious dairy. Oh the humanity!

5. Sporks have nothing on Samurai swords.

Deep in the Holy House of Chicken (Church's Chicken) one undiscovered disciple realized that money and prayer were not the answer -- robbing a fast-food chain was. Wielding an ancient fighting weapon, the man led employees to the cash register, grabbed the cash and walked off with it. No one was injured in the matter, but we're betting a lot of people were pretty baffled by the weapon.

6. Fries with a side of shotgun, ASAP.
shotgun and food

Chris Brooks Heuring was trying to get fast food for his pregnant wife quickly and ended up getting more than a happy meal. Using a shotgun to enforce the "urgency of the situation" after he found out the drive-thru was closed, Heuring ended up going to jail (in addition to carrying a loaded weapon, Heuring was driving drunk) but worst of all -- we bet his hangry wife wasn't happy.

7. The Beach-N-Brawl combo, please.

Most people try to shy away from unhealthy food during bikini season, but after some time in the sand, one bikini-clad mother-of-four decided she needed a burger and fries, ASAP. Kimesa Smith had a "violent meltdown" (captured on camera) after workers were too slow with her order, so she started pulling hair and chucking water coolers.

8. Playing with (or throwing) your food is never the answer.
drive thru

After one customer decided that he was upset with his drive-thru order, he went back to McDonald's, banged on all the windows and chucked his meal at a pregnant manager. The problem with being exceptionally rude and having a public breakdown over your meal is that sometimes, it ends in arrest and a breach of peace charge.

9. Lack of nuggets = plenty of fist fighting.

Usually, we feel this angry when McDonald's tell us they've stopped serving breakfast at 10:31 in the morning. Melodi Dushane had the opposite reaction, and demanded nuggets instead of hashbrowns. When she was met with a "no," Dushane used her fists instead of her words, punched the McDonald's drive-thru employee and ended up in court with a vandalism charge.

10. Possible public intoxication goes well with Jamaican food.

Though he insisted he was "not very drunk," Rob Ford -- the most famous mayor in the world-- had a moment of fast food weakness when he stumbled into a Jamaican restaurant for a little late night snack. Though he wasn't charged with public intoxication, we're pretty sure he would've been arrested considering he was badmouthing the police chief in his drunken rambling.

Major thanks to our friends at Giphy for helping create some awesome GIFs!

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Around the Web

Can people be addicted to food? - CBS News

The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food - NYTimes.com