Off the top of our heads, we can name check a number of things that have the potential to ruin a first date: Being rude to the waiter, texting your way through dinner, Instagramming your meal.
But saying the wrong thing is probably the biggest fear among the recently-dating-again set. The good news? Nothing you say on your next date could possibly trump the unbelievably bad date conversations below, pulled from an Ask Reddit thread on the subject that popped up Thursday.
We promise reading through this will make you feel a lot better about your own instances of word vomit.
1. "My ex is over there -- quick, act like we're interested in each other!"
2. "You're going to eat ALL of that?"
3. "Yes, those are my parents at the next table. Great people. We go everywhere together."
4. "Are you familiar with Vector Marketing? You should join my team and start earning for yourself today!"
5. "Hey babe, can we cut this a little short, the game starts in two hours and I'm superstitious about sitting on my couch an hour before each game."
6. "Here's something I actually said while driving to the restaurant on my first date in 20 years: She was making small talk about my car and I blurted out, 'And with the back seat folded down you can lay down in the back.' I am sooooo smooth."
7. "I'm not racist, but..."
8. "Well, seeing as this recently happened to me I've got an answer. So I asked her out and she said yes quite enthusiastically. The first words that come out of her mouth on the date are, 'I'm not looking for a relationship.' It definitely killed the mood."
9. "My SO loves this place!"
10. "I knew I should've worn my other fedora."
11. "What's your credit score?"
12. "'I never used to watch Asian porn until I met you, now it it is all I watch.' I actually had someone say this to me; he was confused that I wasn't super flattered."
13. "I love you."
14. "You look a lot skinnier in your profile pic."
15. So, let's talk politics."
16. "Have you ever heard of Bitcoin? Let me tell you all about it."
17. "Could we get one salad please? Not for me, for her."
18. "My ex took me to nicer restaurants."
19. "M'lady."
20. "Eh, let's just stay friends."