A bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel is the lord's way of expressing forgiveness for last night's mistakes. But sometimes, the hurt is so deep that you can't even make your way down to the nearest bodega to order the greasy breakfast that mitigates your pain. The hurt is so extreme that you can't even muster up the energy to sizzle your own pork strips on the stove.
It appears Philadelphia, the tried-and-true cream cheese brand, has made an effort to solve this catastrophic situation by combining bacon and cream cheese into one refrigerate-able tub.
Cream cheese with pieces of bacon tossed in the mix. Dreams really do come true is right. According to Ad Age, it took 18 months to perfect the product, but it will only take you about a minute to transport it from tub to toast and feel a lot less hungover. Kraft launched this bacon cream cheese in August 2014, and you can find it at most major U.S. grocery stores.
One might consider getting a little untraditional with the bacon cream cheese and try using it in a different kind of recipe -- like as icing for carrot cake (whoa), or as a layer in 7-layer dip (hey). There is limitless potential.
If you're more of a bagel and lox guy or gal, Philadelphia has something for you, too. A schmear of smoked salmon cream cheese spread could probably get the job done: