Wendell James is many things. He's close friends with comedian Kym Whitley, a regular fixture on the OWN series "Raising Whitley," a fashion follower, a father figure to Whitley's son Joshua and a man of faith. Raised Baptist, Wendell has been involved in the church nearly his entire life, which he says makes it hard for him to reconcile another fundamental truth about himself: Wendell is also gay.
In the very personal above video, Wendell openly discusses his ongoing struggle in regards to his faith and sexual identity. Even saying the words "I am a gay man" has proven difficult for the Ohio native.
"My 'Hollywood wife' Kym Whitley asked me one time, she said, 'Wendell, what is your truth?'" he recalls. "I had a hard time saying, 'My truth, Kym, is I am a gay man.' It's because of my doctrine."
Though he doesn't deny his homosexuality, Wendell does admit he prevents himself from having a serious relationship.
"I say to friends all the time that I'd like to be in a relationship with a man, but what happens is I self-sabotage," he says. "I think I'm going to hell in a handbasket, as I like to say, because that's not pleasing to God… I'm taught that, that is the flesh wanting that relationship, but that's not pleasing to God."
Wendell's family members have also struggled with his sexuality and, in some cases, their understanding of what it means to be gay and some of the negative, and often untrue, stereotypes that are associated with it.
"When the AIDS epidemic first came out... my mother sent me a letter," he recalls. "The letter said, 'Wendell, when you see me, keep your emotions in check. Don't run up and hug me, because I do have to be careful. Can you imagine what that did to me on the inside?"
Wendell's grandmother had a different approach. "Up until she passed a couple of years ago at 103, she always looked forward to me having girlfriends -- even though I think, internally, she knew I was gay," he says.
"This is the stigma that my experience has taken me through," Wendell continues. "And then the church, who said, 'It's a sin and you're going to hell for being gay.'"
With those things in mind, Wendell did what he thought was expected of him: He married a woman.
"I thought [my marriage] would please the Lord, and I would please people in my life," he explains. "The true fact is, I was not living my authentic self."
The two have since divorced, and Wendell wants other men with similar experiences to know that they are not alone.
"If you are going through the same struggle as it pertains to your religion, we now have the Internet, you can Google, you can go to outreach programs -- there are some churches out there that do have outreach programs and there are some churches that have gay resources," Wendell says. "The bottom line is you don't have to go through this alone."
Related: Wendell and Omarosa, a Baptist Minister, have a frank conversation about faith and sexual identity.
"Raising Whitley" airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.