It's pretty much inevitable that, at some point during your teen years, you'll be rejected or dumped or even heart broken. And when that happens, it's likely that a well-meaning parent or mentor will try to cheer you up with some unsolicited, cliché advice. Here are the most common pearls of cringe-inducing adult wisdom -- and what we really want to say back:
"This hypothetical time machine is really fun but I'm just gonna go back to crying, thanks."
"Cool. That would be a huge relief if I was a freaking fisherman."
"BRB. Gotta vom."
"Oh, cool. I'll be sure to inform the idiot who just dumped me."
"You're... just saying that."
"I'm really mature for age though, and stuff."
"Then maybe I'd rather just be weak."
"But what if it's not in time for prom??"
"Great advice. I'll go make out with my algebra book."
"I am not, in fact, a child. But I will reluctantly accept this glass of milk."
There's no magic piece of advice to get you over a breakup -- but that definitely won't stop generation after generation of well-meaning adults from trying to find it!