The Internet has been full of anticipation with the premiere of the "Fifty Shades Of Grey" movie just around the corner. Lyndsay Rush can relate to some of Mr. Grey's tendencies, tweeting, "'My tastes are very...singular.' *make a grand, sweeping gesture at the cupboard full of Haribo gummie.*" On second thought, maybe those are different tendencies.
News broke this week that Beyoncé will be performing at the Grammy awards on Sunday, and everyone was very excited. Mary Charlene gave a great example of how much everyone loves Queen Bey, tweeting: "I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair." Truth.
For more great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) February 3, 2015
"My tastes are very...singular."
*make a grand, sweeping gesture at the cupboard full of Haribo gummies*
— Lyndsay Rush (@rushbomb) February 3, 2015
Fifty Shades of Gray is a lot like my marriage, but only cuz I don't pay attention to either one.
— Bianca LaVagina (@AnitaHelmet) February 4, 2015
for valentine's day u can get me roses and also equal pay
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) February 4, 2015
Ladies who wear underwire bras, remember you always have a shank readily available
— ✴ Just Jane ღ ✴ (@jdforshort) February 3, 2015
I found an old soy sauce packet in my makeup case this morning and had to pretend to be confused
— Meth Lab for Cutie (@kiralc) February 2, 2015
Hard to tell who's more delusional-- people who are madly in love with me or people who aren't.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 4, 2015
In season 3 of Friends Phoebe says "BFF" and everyone stares until she explains "best friends forever." I'd forgotten the time before BFF.
— Elise Foley (@elisefoley) February 5, 2015
Lord, give me the strength not to sing along in public when a song I did in show choir comes on
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) February 3, 2015
Rando subway men never seem to hit on you when you're openly reading @rgay's Bad Feminist.
— Paige Jordan (@iampaigejordan) February 5, 2015
Improv is incredibly therapeutic because it's the only time when men don't try to deny my reality.
— Colette McIntyre (@calledcolette) February 5, 2015
No, you hang up.
— ghost mom (@radtoria) February 4, 2015
Me: I'm sad, what should I do?
Stomach: I have an idea
— moody monday (@mdob11) February 3, 2015
cant wait til im hungry again
— Kelgore Trout (@KelgoreTrout) February 2, 2015
The best part of San Francisco is no lines for the women's bathroom
— Rebecca Searles (@beccabigwords) February 5, 2015
My boyfriend calls the weird noise I make when I eat donuts and cake my "sweets noise" but the scientific term would be "actual orgasm."
— Adrienne Airhart (@craydrienne) February 6, 2015
There are two kinds of people: people who finish their thoughts and
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 5, 2015
I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) February 3, 2015
When I was young I watched lots of court dramas and I thought "hold you in contempt" meant the judge was gonna give them a REALLY angry hug
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) February 5, 2015