WEIRD NEWS

Deer Have Been Eating Birds For Years... They Will Eat Us Next

03/05/2015 12:56 pm ET

People are wild about the idea of deer eating birds.

On Wednesday, i09 wrote up a story based on a couple of reports of deer caught engaging in omnivorous activity.

The i09 post has generated nearly 339,000 traffic flames at the time of writing (which is a lot).

traffic flame

Other publications followed i09's lead.

But the reports are several years old. We've known about deer horrifying families with their predatory actions for some time now.

The real news (and by real news we mean completely made up claim) is that deer will soon grow tired of eating birds and move on to us.

It will be the deer version of when plants got upset with humanity and started killing us. Only this time, it won't be a movie. That movie was terrible, just by the way.

For those of you thinking we can kill our way out of this predicament, please put your hunting devices away. It's too late. Our collective fate is sealed. There is a certain calm that washes over you when you accept your doom. Don't fight it, let it bring you peace.

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