8 Delightful Sayings We Need To Bring Back

Have you ever gotten angry at somebody preemptively, because you thought they might get angry at you? This perverse but all-too-human predicament is called "borrowing a jack." The phrase comes from a shaggy-dog story the comic-actor Danny Thomas told on his TV show in the 1950s. A traveler had a flat tire while driving in the country, and discovered he didn't have a jack. Spotting a farmhouse a mile off, he started walking toward it, so he could borrow a jack and change his tire. But as he walked, he convinced himself that the farmer wouldn't trust him, would think he was a con man and would refuse his request. By the time the traveler got to the house, he was so offended that when the farmer came to the door, he shouted at him, "You can keep your dang jack!" and stomped off. The moral of this one is, have a little faith.

If you ever feel overwhelmed because you can't possibly get all the things done that you have to, then you're a lot like Mrs. Bridges, the cook in Upstairs Downstairs, who wailed that she was "all behind like a cow's tail" when she was running late in her dinner preparations. The phrase was common at the turn of the last century, but the Roman writer Petronius actually minted the expression 2,000 years ago: "Tanquam coda vituli." It sounds better in English; and, for the record, Mrs. Bridges did catch up in time.

Cats have no trouble making humans laugh -- by now, Tom and Jerry, Lolcats.com and the most extreme sourpuss of them all, Grumpy Cat, have made that abundantly clear. But how often do humans return the favor? Rarely, judging from an expression from the American South, "Enough to make a cat laugh." It's not known what it was that provoked such whiskered mirth, but it must have been hilarious indeed.

Holly Golightly called it having the "mean reds," but when you're furious, sulking or bad-tempered -- for a good reason or not -- your ancient Midwestern relations are likely to observe that you are "in a faunch." The expression is said teasingly and indulgently -- and it's worth reviving, because it recognizes that dark moods come to us all, and often shouldn't be taken too seriously. If you have a best friend who occasionally blows up at you over small things, take it in stride and tell yourself, "she's in a faunch" and know that it will pass.

Military pilots must be sharp-eyed, scouting out dangers ahead of them and on all sides. They use the hands of a clock to indicate from which direction trouble is coming. But there remains one spot that is the most vulnerable of all: six o' clock, the position directly behind them. So whether in the air, on the sea or on the ground, when one soldier tells another, "I've got your six," it means, "I'm looking out for you." When you're feeling vulnerable, remember that problems often come from where you least expect them; and, a friend may be your best defense.

Sometimes, children say or do things that show them to be wiser than their elders. Russian parents have a grudging way of describing this phenomenon: "The eggs shouldn't teach the hen!" (Яйца курицу не учат!) But Tolstoy, more generous-mindedly, flipped the phrase in War and Peace. When young Natasha Rostov told her flurried parents they ought to make room in their wagons for wounded soldiers as the family fled Moscow, her father was moved by her noble impulse, and said humbly, "The eggs are teaching the hen." ( Яйца курицу учат.) Tolstoy knew that insight is not necessarily tied to age.

Do you knock yourself out for people, take pains, go the extra mile? Dutiful French people do, too -- but when they go to contortions to please others, they call it "folding yourself in four" -- se plier en quatre. This is a picturesque way to capture the effort of benevolent exertion, and also suggests a touch of remarkable perfectionism -- not just bending over backwards, but bending four times, sacrebleu!

If you're feeling poorly, borrow a page from the avian kingdom and say you're "sick as a parrot." Why a parrot? Remarkably, this curious comparison predates the Monty Python "dead parrot" sketch. Several lively theories, none of them provable, explain its origin: One is that parrot smugglers from South America used to sedate birds to sneak them quietly across the border to U.S. buyers. When the birds awoke from their drugged sleep, groggy and stumbling, their new owners thought they looked hungover and coined the whimsical comparison. Another theory suggests that "parrot" is a corruption of the French word "Pierrot" (i.e., a pasty-faced clown). Still others point to psittacosis (a contagious bird flu), or credit a mention in a 17th-century play by Aphra Behn. In any case, if you are unsteady on your pins, have a flutter with this metaphor -- and take two aspirin.