ENTERTAINMENT

Let's Remake 'Gone Girl' With The Cast Of 'Mad Men'

04/03/2015 04:06 pm ET | Updated Apr 03, 2015
AMC/Fox

From the files of what might have been: Page Six reported this week that Jon Hamm could have starred as Nick Dunne in "Gone Girl" were it not for his "Mad Men" contract. (Reps for Hamm did not respond to requests for comment.) Ben Affleck was perfect in David Fincher's twisty thriller, but damn: we would have seen "Gone Girl" with Hamm in the lead role another 12 times. The near miss got us thinking: Who else from "Mad Men" would have been a good fit for "Gone Girl"? As it turns out, nearly everyone. Ahead, our remake of "Gone Girl" using the cast from "Mad Men."

  • January Jones as Amy Dunne
    AMC
    Rosamund Pike's performance was nominated for an Oscar, but if Hamm is playing Nick Dunne then January Jones has to star as his Amazing Amy.
  • Christina Hendricks as Margot Dunne
    AMC
    Carrie Coon for life. But for our fake purposes, Hendricks as Margot, Nick's snarky and seen-it-almost-all twin sister, is a decent swap. (Bonus: she's closer in age to Hamm than Coon was to Affleck.)
  • Vincent Kartheiser as Desi Collings
    AMC
    "Octopus and Scrabble?" This one just feels right.
  • John Slattery as Tanner Bolt
    AMC
    No one is a better Tanner Bolt than Tyler Perry, but if we have to improve upon perfection, Slattery's strength at playing dgaf insouciance as Roger Sterling would translate well to our fictional remake.
  • Jessica Pare as Andie
    AMC
    Sure.
  • Jay R. Ferguson & Elisabeth Moss as Gilpin & Boney
    AMC
    Boney is Nick's unwitting champion, even when she knows better, much in the same way Peggy treats her relationship with Don. Gilpin is laconic and a little snide, kind of like Stan when he's annoyed. We'll 'ship these two forever.

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