This week, HuffPost Weddings highlighted a handful of tweets that summed up the marriage experience.
"Turns out, marriage is mostly just walking behind your wife carrying heavy things," one tweeter mused. "Marriage is essentially agreeing to share 50 percent of your ice cream forever," another lamented.
The roundup was pithy and sweet, but let's be honest here: Married life can be a lot rougher than having to go halfsies on a bowl of rocky road.
In true Debbie Downer fashion, we, too, turned to the Twittersphere to find some honest definitions of marriage. Below, 14 tweets that perfectly capture what married life is really like in less than 140 characters.
Marriage is like the IKEA of relationships. Easy to walk into, confusing to piece together, and difficult to exit.
— Jay Gallagher (@jgallagher5280) April 13, 2015
Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out
— Stephanie Robinson (@adhesivesquish) April 30, 2015
Marriage:is like going to a restaurant You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
— Susie Creamcheese (@LunaticOnEdge) June 3, 2010
Marriage is like waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park. You spend 99% of the time pissed off for 1% of intense pleasure.
— busty&blunt (@attsmcjay) April 15, 2015
Marriage is like deleting all the apps on your phone except one.
— Haider (@LeMeHaider) April 2, 2015
Marriage is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
— Dustin Not Hoffman (@Epicdaddy) April 27, 2015
Marriage is like a constant struggle to solve a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces keep on changing shapes every minute.
— TD (@ttrinadasgupta) April 19, 2015
Marriage is like a video game.
Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.
— Chris Burns (@OneFunnyBastard) April 3, 2015
Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
— Roma Lott (@Roma_Lott) April 7, 2015
Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like.
— Jennifer Chambers (@JenniTheUs) April 20, 2015
Marriage is like a sweet romance story till you get to the lame M. Night Shyamalan twist where you realize you've been dead for years.
— Gail Tejeda (@golovlyanitsin1) April 19, 2015
— lovetto nazareth (@lovettonazareth) April 15, 2015
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. -Evelyn Hendrickson #quote
— YourTango Experts (@YTExperts) February 16, 2010
— Winter Foenander (@ComedyDefect) April 13, 2015