1. When it’s 3 p.m. on a Friday and you realize you still have three hours of work left.
2. When you have two parties to go to on Saturday and neither sound fun.
3. When you can’t for the life of you decide between mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip cookie dough.
4. When dad let’s you take the new car out for a joyride and you scratch it within five minutes.
5. When you accidentally fave your crush’s tweet from three months ago like a freaking IDIOT.
6. When you go to HBOGo.com to watch the new “Game of Thrones” but the server is down.
7. When your boss plans a meeting but won’t tell you what it’s about.
8. When you told yourself you’d spend $30 MAX at the club but you really want just one more vodka soda.
9. When you realize you could’ve watched an entire movie in the time you just spent trying to figure out what to watch on Netflix.
10. When it’s been 10 minutes since you posted an Instagram and no one has liked it.
11. When, well, you know, the “...” iPhone message thing.
12. When you realize progress is not an inherent function of human civilization.
13. When you finally have the revelation that life has no larger point and is really just a series of random events through which we create a convincing but nevertheless false narrative.
14. When mom notes that you’re not getting any older and should really stop drinking so much and start trying to find “the one” but YOU'RE TRYING, DEAR LORD, DOES SHE NOT REALIZE YOU’RE TRYING?
15. And, of course, when you realize the team you just bought for $2 billion might lose in the first round of the playoffs.
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