The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
icky dating site #misstravel reports that 80% of men hate highwaisted retro bikinis. 99.9% of women hate men who critique womens swimsuits.
— Robin Givhan (@RobinGivhan) May 18, 2015
Being an adult means washing your hands even when no one else is looking
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) May 18, 2015
wine is great and necessary
— Tracy Boomeisha-Ann Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) May 21, 2015
"oh I'm so sad my life is garbage" - thirty two years old and I forget my period is about to start every goddamn time
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 19, 2015
I would 1000% more horrified to walk in and find my kid commenting on a Reddit thread about keeping Mad Max pure than smoking a blunt
— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) May 20, 2015
Sometimes you just know that someones twitter bio is exactly the same thing they use for their tinder tagline
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) May 19, 2015
1st mozzarella stick: omg yes
— Katla McGlynn (@katlamcglynn) May 19, 2015
2nd-3rd: this is great
4-5th: no looking back now
6th: I regret everything
why hello there, boy skateboarding somewhere at 645 am with a pizza, perchance are you single
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) May 20, 2015
Genius is 1% inspiration, 1% perspiration, and 98% mango juice
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) May 19, 2015
99 percent of the pictures parents text would have been better as snapchats.
— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) May 22, 2015
That thing where you haven't shaved your legs in a bit so you decide to wait and get a wax but then you don't do that either.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 20, 2015
I wish there was an unsubscribe button for when people start whining about their life.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 22, 2015
boyfriend's grandma: katy, you're so new york with your tangled hair and wrinkled clothes and no make-up
— Katherine Brooks (@kann_brooks) May 20, 2015
thanks girl, luh you too
Got a long list of ex-lovers, long for a woman I mean but not long for a guy, they'll tell you the sexual double standard is great for them.
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) May 20, 2015
what i don't understand is why more hot celebrities don't hang out and get goofy with dogs in public, like what is wrong with you
— devon maloney (@dynamofire) May 20, 2015
Can't. Just started a new hobby called I like to stay home.
— Molly (@HappyHijabbi) May 20, 2015
A guy in an NYU graduation robe hit on me outside of Gray's Papaya. I was like, sorry dude, I graduated six years ago.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) May 22, 2015
men also have "resting bitch face" but nobody cares cuz only women are expected 2 be zippity-do-dah princess peach happy all the gdamn time
— Alexis C. Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) May 16, 2015
My name is Jena but my friends call me Part of the Problem
— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) May 15, 2015
oops i did it again
— Alexis Kleinman (@alexiskleinman) May 21, 2015
i went to the gap
& bought a new shirt
oh baby baby
oops you think i'm at lunch
but you had a hunch
i love 2 shop a sale
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