50 Telltale Signs You're Not As Young As You Used To Be

05/22/2015 07:38 am ET | Updated May 22, 2015
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1. You walk into the kitchen to get something but you forget what it was when you get there.

2. Every horizontal surface in your house has a pair of reading glasses on it.

3. You are regularly asked why you still have a telephone land line.

4. You carry cash and use it to pay for things.

5. You still figure out the tip in your head instead of using your phone calculator or an app.

6. You check the menu online before you eat in a restaurant because you know you won't be able to see it once you are there.

7. You frequently choose restaurants based on their parking situation.

8. When you park at the mall, you take a photo of where you left your car.

9. You get invited to parties that start later than you like to go to bed.

10. More than once you've grabbed the Ben-Gay thinking it was the toothpaste tube.

11. Loud music bothers you unless you're the one playing it.

12. You rushed out and bought the iPhone6 Plus and love it -- even if your kids mock you.

13. You have different glasses for reading, for driving, for the computer and for going to the movies.

14. You no longer rush to the dermatologist over every new sun spot.

15. You think people driving the speed limit are driving too fast.

16. You see items from your youth on "Antiques Roadshow" -- going for top dollar.

17. You prefer a coffee maker with just an on/off switch.

18. You understand that the only toppings on a pizza should be cheese and pepperoni.

19. You can't pronounce quinoa.

20. Kale will always be just a salad bar decoration to you.

21. Shaving your legs is something you do only when going to the beach or a pool party.

22. You eyebrows turn white, if you have any eyebrows left.

23. Buying a new appliance makes you happy.

24. You fall asleep whenever you try to watch TV.

25. You pick movies based on the theaters with fully reclining seats.

26. You begin to "get" cruises.

27. You wear your Fitbit to the mail and immediately check how far you've just walked.

28. You don't have operations anymore; you have "procedures."

29. You wish your doctor took the laxatives that he gives you as pre-colonoscopy prep.

30. The first thing you look for in an obituary is the person's age and what killed them.

31. You remember when you used to think having hemorrhoids was a big deal.

32. Your idea of a great date night involves take-out food and Netflix.

33. When you come upon old photos of yourself, you think "I was so thin then." All the time.

34. You are a big fan of yellow sticky notes.

35. You cut off the wine early enough to take the sleeping aid.

36. You wonder when exactly it was that liberal you became a fiscal conservative.

37. Public transportation makes you uneasy.

38. You understand why people pay to upgrade their seat on planes.

39. Running shoes are your go-to footwear -- and not for running.

40. You buy drugstore hair coloring by the case when it's on sale.

41. You've had conversations with friends about the best source of bran.

42. You know first-hand that generics aren't as good as the real deal.

43. You have pour egg whites into your coffee thinking it was fat-free creamer.

44. Your kids are all taller than you.

45. You do some mental math before adopting a new puppy or kitten.

46. You say things like, "My next house won't have so many stairs."

47. You can't remember the last time you fell asleep and stayed asleep all night.

48. You are finally remembering which is Medicare and which is Medicaid.

49. Hotels no longer ask to actually see your AARP card before they give you a discounted rate.

50. You swear your feet are growing wider -- because they are.

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