WOMEN

77 Things That Are Cooler Than A Mandatory Ultrasound

05/28/2015 11:53 am ET
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Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (and potential 2016 presidential candidate) thinks that mandatory ultrasounds for women seeking abortions are "just a cool thing."

When you think "cool," the first thing that probably comes to mind is forcing women who are seeking to terminate a pregnancy to undergo a procedure where the "ultrasound technician point[s] out a fetus' visible organs and external features to the woman before she has an abortion."

No? Not so much?

As super-duper awesome as mandatory ultrasounds seem -- right up there with sipping mimosas and taking a beach vacay with your girl friends -- there are at least a few things that are "cooler." Here are 77 of them:

  1. Giving yourself a breast self-exam
  2. Getting 10 messages in a row on OKCupid that just say "Hey"
  3. Cleaning red wine off your white couch
  4. All-white Emojis
  5. Backlit selfies
  6. Renting a car
  7. Cleaning the crumbs out of the bottom of your purse
  8. Pinning crap on Pinterest titled "15 Minutes To A Better Body: Tracy Anderson's Fast Fat Blaster"
  9. Taking your kid to the dentist
  10. Cleaning out the cat's litter box
  11. Sweeping spaghetti off the floor
  12. Cleaning out your junk drawer
  13. Facebook stalking your ex
  14. TurboTax
  15. Plunging a toilet
  16. Flossing
  17. Dusting
  18. Sorting through bank statements
  19. Sunday errands
  20. Grocery shopping
  21. Trying to get everything from your iPhone on the cloud
  22. Cleaning your bathtub
  23. Waiting for your nail polish to dry
  24. Bathing suit shopping
  25. The peeling phase of a sunburn
  26. Getting in a Twitter fight
  27. Pat-drying tofu
  28. Googling "Michael Fassbender girlfriend?" and then getting sad
  29. Hiding engagement photos from your Facebook feed
  30. Ultra-ribbed condoms
  31. Colonoscopies
  32. Dick pics on Snapchat
  33. FaceTiming with bad wifi
  34. Wondering what Pam spray actually is
  35. Waiting for your bag to come off the carousel at the airport
  36. Giving your dog a bath
  37. Giving your cat a bath
  38. Cleaning out the rotten food from your fridge
  39. Cleaning crud from earring backs
  40. Folding laundry
  41. Sitting in traffic
  42. Changing a flat tire
  43. Feeding squirrels when you are secretly afraid of them
  44. Feeding pigeons when you are secretly afraid of them
  45. Having your eyes dilated at the eye doctor
  46. Stepping in gum
  47. The sound of two pieces of polystyrene rubbing together
  48. The smell of burning hair
  49. Attending an amateur ska band's concert
  50. Spending half a day trying to figure out which smoke detector is beeping
  51. Getting the hiccups on a first date
  52. Transferring all your contacts from your old phone to your new one
  53. Attending a barre class
  54. Going to IKEA when it's extremely crowded
  55. Transporting your IKEA purchases on the subway
  56. IKEA in general
  57. The "cannot take photo" iPhone alert
  58. Accidentally walking into a mosh pit
  59. Realizing Joey Fatone hosted a celebrity cook-off show
  60. Sleeping on a plane
  61. Eating plane food
  62. Picking up your dog's poop
  63. Having a rock in your shoe
  64. Eating a stick of butter
  65. Realizing you accidentally bought peanut M&Ms instead of regular M&Ms
  66. Tripping in heels
  67. Realizing you're not Beyoncé
  68. Stubbing your toe
  69. Putting aloe on a sunburn
  70. Falling off the elliptical at the gym
  71. Saying "hi" to someone who doesn't hear you
  72. Running into an acquaintance from high school
  73. Getting sick on vacation
  74. Forgetting your iPod/iPhone when you go to the gym
  75. Manspreading
  76. Waving back to someone without realizing they're waving to someone behind you
  77. Getting a cavity filled

And there you have it, Scotty.

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