Beauty contests once focused on the whole package. Now some are just focused on the package -- literally.
In addition, Autoblow, a company that makes a machine designed to perform artificial blowjobs, is now holding a contest to find America's "most beautiful vagina."
Add to the mix Brazil's asinine Miss Bum Bum contest, where women compete to win the coveted title of having the country's most shapely posterior.
Having pageants focused on particular body parts might seem impersonal, but Jesse Levitt of the Kings County Saloon, says it was a personal relationship that inspired the first "Smallest Penis Contest" in 2013.
"My business partner Amy had a bad romantic experience with a guy who was too big,” he told HuffPost. “We wanted to give a shout out to the smaller guys who go the extra mile in bed. [The contest is] not about smallness, but confidence and heart -- guys who are proud to be who they are."
This year's winning weiner belongs to a contestant named "the Puzzlemaster," who climaxed the peewee penis pageant with a altered version of "Goldfinger," to reflect his endowment.
“Every girl, beware of his cock and balls… this cock is small!” he crooned, according to the Daily Beast.
Levitt admits the "Smallest Penis Contest" is "taboo and voyeuristic, but figures it's also a statement about equality.
"We have a lot of things that objectify women's bodies, but not as many for men," he said.
Brian Sloan, the owner and founder of Very Intelligent Ecommerce Inc., the parent company of Autoblow, says his "Vagina Beauty Contest" isn't meant to objectify the vagina, he just wants to improve the quality of his products.
"A dirty little secret of the adult toy industry is that the majority of vagina masturbators that are supposedly molded from porn stars and sold as replicas are, in fact, not molded from porn stars and are far from being replicas," Sloan told HuffPost by email. "If you lined up all of the vagina toys available today, you'd find 75 percent of the vaginas to be strikingly similar."
Sloan is also aware that the beauty contest is actually looking for the best looking vulva, not a vagina, but said he's being scientifically inaccurate in the name of good branding.
"Vulva doesn’t have the same ring to it as vagina," he said. "Yes, I’ve taken some linguistic liberty with the name of this contest, but people will just deal with it."
The "Vagina Beauty Contest" currently has 15 vulvas competing to win cash prizes of $5,000, $2,500 and $1,500.
The top three vote-getting vaginas will be flown to Los Angeles. The sex organs will get a 3D scan that will allow them to be duplicated publicly on future Autoblow products.
Sloan doesn't want his own personal biases to get in the way of sales, hence the need for a contest. He realizes vulvas come in all shapes and sizes, a fact he demonstrates using lunch meat in a not-safe-for-work video about the contest.
The winning vaginas will be used in various products, but the women they belong to, will remain anonymous and without royalties.
"This particular contest isn’t about who the winners are, but only what their vaginas look like," he said. "Royalties are more fit for a situation where we profit from some else’s achievements or abilities. This contest is simply about what nature has bestowed upon them and I think for that, a one time payment is fair compensation."
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.